10 of the worst excuses in the world of sport

● Fans couldn’t understand why Vereeniging-based boxer Sexton “Wonder Boy” Mabena quit suddenly in the sixth round of an entertaining war against Harry Madlala in downtown Johannesburg in September 1963. Mabena took the microphone to explain: “I don’t want to make any excuses, but the altitude …” The crowd laughed him out of the ring. — David Isaacson

● The most unusual excuse comes from an amateur golfer, an air force officer, in the early 1980s. As he was about to putt, two transport aircraft swooped low above him. The golfer immediately knew his regular partner, a pilot who was absent that day, was responsible. “That’s Blackie,” he told his fourball before missing three consecutive putts. —

David Isaacson

● Martin Gillingham: Why didn’t you win? Brendan Venter: Very good question that.

It’s important to win. It is important to win and we must try harder.

MG: Is it a lack of effort?

BV: Lack of effort? I can’t think it’s a lack of effort. What would it be? Let me think. I’m not sure. I need to think about that one. I’ll have to think about that deeply. — Former Saracens director of rugby Brendan Venter after losing to Racing Metro — Khanyiso

Tshwaku

“He grabbed him by the collar. You’ve got to watch the vision. He didn’t grab him by the hair. When you’ve watched the vision and seen him grab him by the hair. No one tackles. Have you played rugby, mate? Have you tackled someone by their hair?

“This is a non-issue,” — Former Australia rugby coach Michael Cheika in a heated exchange with a journalist after a Test in which Israel Folau grabbed Dillyn Leyds’s hair during a tackle. — Khanyiso Tshwaku

Christo Buchner: Robert, what did you make of the decision right at the end of the game?

Robert du Preez: The one under the poles or the one on the touchline?

CB: Both of them.

RdP: What did you make of them?

CB: You’re the one that counts.

RdP: I can’t comment on bad officiating. You’ve got to make up your mind on whether it’s right or wrong. [Ten seconds later, he gets up and walks out.] — Sharks coach Robert du Preez when his team was on the receiving end of bad officiating in the Super Rugby quarterfinal three years ago. — Khanyiso

Tshwaku

Zambia’s Lighton Ndefwayl was hardly magnanimous after defeat to Musumba Bwayla. “Bwayla is a stupid man and a hopeless [tennis] player. He has a huge nose and is crosseyed. Girls hate him. He beat me because my

jockstrap was too tight and because when he serves, he farts, and that made me lose my concentration.” — Liam Del Carme

After shipping three goals against Newcastle in 1997, Liverpool goalkeeper David James explained he had played too much PlayStation. “I was getting carried away playing Tekken II and Tomb Raider for hours on end.” — Liam Del Carme

Fabrice Santoro explained his loss at Indian Wells because the player in the hotel room next door was too noisy during intercourse. “They keep going and going and it’s 2am. Then they stop and I think: ‘Great, now I can go to sleep.’

“Then five minutes later it starts up again. “Unbelievable!” — Liam Del Carme

“I think it was clear to see that we didn’t lose the match, but we ran out of time.” — Former

Orlando Pirates caretaker coach Rulani Mokwena after Bucs lost 4-3 in an Absa Premiership match against Bidvest Wits at the Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban in September last year. It was Mokwena’s fifth game in charge and he lasted seven more before he was replaced by German coach Jozef Zinnbauer in mid December. —

Sazi Hadebe

“It’s a shame, but given what happened before the match it would have been a miracle

to win.” — France midfielder Florent Malouda after losing 2-1 against Bafana Bafana in Bloemfontein in the final Group A match in the 2010 World Cup in which the French players constantly clashed with their coach Raymond Domenech before crashing out in the first round. Despite the win, SA also recorded some nasty history, becoming the first hosts to fail to reach the second round. — Sazi Hadebe