HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR FAMILY UNDER LOCKDOWN

Today’s our first-ever lockdown Easter Sunday, and tomorrow is Family Day. Many people had been looking forward to the long weekend as a special time allowing families to spend quality time together, but after more than two solid weeks in each other’s company we might be feeling like we’re ready to break the law to get away from each other. However, we’re in the final stretch (we hope), so just keep it together a little longer and use these tips to help you cope:

Wine

It’s been two weeks and could possibly be longer and these people are grating you. A good glass (or four) of vino will have you feeling like a mellow French novelist.

Weed

Who ever thought that it would be legal to smoke dagga and illegal to go to work and school? Durban’s finest poison makes even the most strident control freak let go of the wheel and just enjoy the sounds of birds having philosophical discussions.

Board games

Take the bored out of their vocabulary with board games. Any child who claims not to love them is lying. Give your kids a lesson in the ruthlessness of capitalism with a no-mercy game of Monopoly, or get their competitive juices flowing with a round robin of backgammon or Rummikub. If you win, they’ll probably end up going to their rooms to sulk and you get an afternoon off. Card games can also while away the hours.

Music/dancing

At this point you’re fed up with the idiots you live with so you may as well crank up the volume and look like one yourself.

The internet

YouTube is filled with endless possibilities for DIY of all types.

Streaming

Find a show on Netflix or Showmax that turns you into a vegetable.

The sun

There’s never been a better time to get a tan and give the neighbours a show.

High-calorie food

Ignore all that nonsense about summer bodies being made in winter. People are just going to have to like each other’s personalities. Make cooking a family activity.

Booze

Any kind. Trust me you’re going to need it. — Yolisa Mkele and Andrea Nagel