Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
A23-page document, replete with spelling errors and bad grammar, landed on Hogarth’s desk last Sunday. On close inspection it turned out not to be a grade 2 school project, but the Nkandla Crooner’s input in his meeting with the ANC national officials last month. The meeting had been called to convince Baba kaDuduzane to stop defying the Constitutional Court ruling that ordered him to go appear before his imaginary BFF, deputy chief justice Raymond Zondo. The notes show that Baba kaD accused McBuffalo and the rest of the Top Six of having deserted him, and of having called the meeting just to show the world they could tell him what to do. He claimed that ANC “forces internal and external” have been harassing him since 1994. “As you know, I have never enjoyed a single day of my freedom.” What a revelation! All those days the Nkandla Crooner was marrying, singing, dancing, giggling and marrying again: he never enjoyed not even one of them.