Editor’s Note
It’s my women friends that keep starch in my spine,” said Jane Fonda extolling the virtues of female friendship and swearing that the love of good buddies is the reason why women live longer than men. She and her fellow stars, Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin, explored the virtues of a (small) girl gang in my favourite Fonda film, 9 to 5 (1980), about three secretaries who decide to get revenge on their tyrannical, sexist boss by abducting him and running the business themselves. It’s the scenes in which the chemistry between the three of them is palpable, when they laugh and joke together, that really light up the screen. Those three women are all still great friends who sing each other’s praises at every opportunity and support each other through everything.
And like them, it’s my women friends who have been a real tonic when days have seemed darkest.
A few months ago, I joined a group called the Koeksusters, who meet every Sunday morning for a long walk around the Joburg suburbs. There’s plenty of exercise, which is great — we walk fast — but of course it’s the talking that most of us have signed up for.
As “my friend I’ve known the longest” (she made me swear I wouldn’t call her my oldest friend), who’s also a part of this group, put it: “Koeksusters are sticky, solid, intertwined and frankly delicious — just like every one of us.” Another member wrote of how the group has altered her life, explaining that it’s been better than any medication in alleviating her decades-long depression.
“Women together are a powerful and wondrous force of affirmation, beauty and intelligence,” she wrote in a message to all of us. “I’m managing to keep it together because women are my glue — they’re a very strong super glue.”
For all of us, the Koeksusters walking/talking group has been a source of solace — as many have gone through tragedies in the past few months — strength, support, invaluable information and endless laughter. But mostly, the group, as diverse as it is, is about women who really appreciate women. And what better way to spend a Sunday?
For comments, criticism or praise, write to nagela@sundaytimes.co.za