A HANDY USE FOR STONES

We humans like to think of ourselves as exceptional self-reflecting creatures with an awareness of the universe and our all too inconspicuous position in it.

But sometimes it’s helpful for those overreaching egos to be cut down to size. It could be a good thing for us to realise that we’re closer to the other creatures inhabiting the world than we imagine. We probably have more in common than we bargained for.

News this week in the scientific journal Ethology has gone a long way towards balancing the scorecard. It’s commonly acknowledged that a stick or rock will be put to good use by our handy animal cousins. Apes, crows, otters — all use nature’s tools to dig, cut, crack open nuts and fruits, poke holes in things and so on.

Now it’s been observed and meticulously recorded that Indonesian macaques use tools to, quite literally, help themselves. Nature’s bounty put to instrumental use for some handy self-gratification. Yes, our fellow creatures are taking full advantage of all nature has to offer and pleasuring themselves with a little help from some strategically shaped rocks.

Animal behaviourist Camilla Cenni, who studied the primates, concluded there was no evolutionary advantage to their behaviour and it was more marked among pubescent males. “They engage in a form of self-directed, tool-assisted masturbation.”

I don’t know why this news pleases me. I think I’m just wildly amused by the idea of horny hormones running wild in selfpleasuring teenage monkeys with useful tools in hand.

We are not so different after all.