HOG­A­RTH

Sunday Times - - Opinion - WRITE TO HOG­A­[email protected]­DAY­TIMES.CO.ZA

Em­peror with smart clothes

Our First Brother-in-Law threw the big­gest bash ever wit­nessed on our shores, bring­ing to­gether 10 heads of state un­der one roof — in­clud­ing Paul Kagame of Rwanda and Kenya’s Uhuru Keny­atta. But that’s not a big deal be­cause one head of state is al­ways one call away from his next braai. What was more im­pres­sive was Pa­trice Mot­sepe’s abil­ity to con­vince King Good­will Zwelithini and Bishop Barn­abas Lek­ganyane to go to a sta­dium for two con­sec­u­tive Sun­days. An­cient states were made up of the monar­chy and the church. But Mot­sepe, pic­tured, seems to be build­ing a super-state, made up of the monar­chy, the church, McBuf­falo and Mamelodi Sun­downs. Those who say Mot­sepe wants to be our prez are aim­ing too low, the guy is al­ready an em­peror.

Rul­ing over king and church

If you were doubt­ing Mot­sepe’s pow­ers, let old Hog break it down for you. The head of the ZCC and the Zulu king are not known for tak­ing in­struc­tions from any­one. Not ev­ery­one can shake King Zwelithini’s hand — and those who do have to kneel. But on Sun­day the two read from Mot­sepe’s speech. In one in­stance he was seen tap­ping their shoul­ders. This is what the young ones are re­fer­ring to when they talk about lev­els.

Call­ing the … er … Cosatu per­son

Also present at the Mot­sepe bash was Cosatu pres­i­dent Zingiswa Losi. Losi should touch up on her PR. Of all the peo­ple Mot­sepe called on stage, she was the only one he did not call by name, per­haps fear­ing he would call his long­time friend Zwelinz­ima Vavi, who was also in at­ten­dance.

Start the rev­o­lu­tion with­out them

Your day­time rev­o­lu­tion­ar­ies turn into groupies of monopoly cap­i­tal at night. What’s with the Red Berets tak­ing self­ies with celebri­ties at the FNB Sta­dium on Sun­day? The com­man­der-in-thief shared his pic­ture with R&B star Usher while his deputy, Floyd Shivambu, stole a selfie with Naomi Camp­bell. Re­mem­ber how they ran onto the pitch to take a pic­ture with Lionel Messi when Em­peror Mot­sepe brought Barcelona to FNB Sta­dium? Not so long ago the same Reds were ac­cus­ing Mot­sepe of pay­ing work­ers slave wages. Hog­a­rth un­der­stands, it must be dif­fi­cult shout­ing slo­gans when you’re wear­ing Gucci.

Aunty Pat’s got a bag of them

Aunty Pat fi­nally re­vealed the name of her party: Good. She says she is hop­ing that all good peo­ple in this coun­try will vote for her. We have Com­rades (ANC), Fight­ers (EFF), Democrats (DA) and Cit­i­zens (Agang). What will Aunty Pat’s members call them­selves? Good­ies?

First red berets, now red tops

Aunty Pat told the fourth estate that she started this party so that young peo­ple could take over one day. “I won’t be here for­ever.” One of the young peo­ple was for­mer gos­sip re­porter Bon­gani Mdakane, who was seated next to her. Does it mean Good is go­ing trashy tabloid?

Ter­ri­ble trans­for­ma­tion of Ter­ror

Ter­ror Lekota and his stokvel, who call them­selves the Congress of the Peo­ple, have joined forces with AfriFo­rum to woo white vot­ers. Un­cle Ter­ror has been a vo­cal op­po­nent of ex­pro­pri­at­ing land with­out com­pen­sa­tion. It’s one of the big­gest political som­er­saults in his­tory, from a black con­scious­ness ac­tivist to char­ter­ist to the right wing. This man is a jum­ble sale of wrong ideas.

Fight­ers miss­ing in ac­tion

The Red Berets have al­ways made noise about how the face of white monopoly cap­i­tal, Jo­hann Ru­pert, ex­ploits the work­ing class. On Tues­day Ru­pert was in Houghton at a much-pub­li­cised event hosted by Power

98.7 owner Given Mkhari. You’d think this would have been an op­por­tu­nity for the Reds to ex­press their anger, but they were nowhere to be found. Is it be­cause Juju is Mkhari’s BFF?

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