Fergie ain’t buried just yet…
SO, HOW DO you put the cork back into a Champagne bottle? Don’t know, do you? Better ask a Manchester United fan, then!
Oh yes, the City lot have become a bunch of comedians. All week, a steady buffet of the witty and the woeful has found its way on to the internet.
And it’s not going away any time soon.
Suddenly, after Manchester City’s “made in Hollywood” finale, there is renewed faith in the human spirit, even in mavericks such as Mario Balotelli and Carlos Tevez, who is on an exchange programme from the Argentine PGA.
Young Carlos made remarkable progress in his cameo stint at the Etihad Stadium. At that rate, they may just decide to give him a pay rise and keep him. He was like a student teacher who had popped over for a few months, to see the world and spread the gospel.
Not content with being a mentor for wayward geniuses such as clumsy Mario, the saintly Carlos also tried to preach the ways of the Bible to young Joey Barton.
Sadly, where Barton hails from, turning the other cheek is taken quite literally, as Sergio Aguero found out. The cheeky bastard – Barton, that is – then had the nerve to say he didn’t think his actions warranted a sending-off.
Funnily enough, my only regret from the entire Barton affair is that the City bench decided to hold Balotelli back, when the young Italian wanted to enquire about Barton’s state of mind as he left the field to a chorus of boos.
Now that would have been must-see television. Never mind the Rumble in the Jungle, we could have had front-row seats to The Night of the Nutters. Alas, we will have to wait for the next time they cross paths on a football field.
Which may be a really long time. What with the small matter of the off-season, and then Barton’s inevitable ban which seems to get longer with each day of speculation. And actually, I do hope the FA throw the proverbial book at him.
He is as spineless and despicable as cricketers that fix matches and the world can do without his type. But, as is the way of the Premiership, the socalled bad boys always get off the hook.
Like the saintly Tevez, whose antics that long, long while ago in Munich almost derailed City’s title charge even before they had got into gear.
But heck, all is forgotten now, especially after Tevez’s latest dabble into intra-city PR during the bus parade with the rest of the City lads on Monday.
While everyone else was waving to fans, biting their medals and taking pictures of scenes never seen by a City team before, Tevez went to the trouble of identifying the most childish poster in the crowd, and held it up like an overexcited toddler.
Bonkers
RIP Fergie. That’s all it said. That’s all it needed to say, to give their neighbours and their boss the perfect riposte.
One can only imagine that the sight of it went down Fergie’s throat as well as a 94thminute winner to snatch the title from his grasp.
Rumour has it that fuming Fergie has already decided that his team will start pre-season earlier than usual for next season. And there we were thinking he was slowing down in his old age. Oh, he’ll be back, spitting fire and four-letter feathers come August.
After this last, gloriously ridiculous, beautifully bonkers season, I just can’t wait to see what the noisy lot and their seething neighbours will serve up for us next season.
For now, though, one just has to content oneself with the rather fascinating world of Isidingo. Who knew that ladies tennis could be so intriguing?