This one’s for the (pretty) ladies
WE’RE right in the thick of Women’s Month, so I thought I’d dedicate this week’s column to the ladies. The ladies who do their hair, perfect their make-up and dress to the nines. The ladies who get called superficial and “unAfrican” because they choose not to walk around looking plain. The pretty ladies, who do all they can to stay that way.
For some reason, when a woman goes the extra mile for her looks, it is immediately assumed she is trying to live up to a particular prescribed standard of beauty, that she is trying to make herself desirable to men or she’s attempting to imitate the supermodels who appear in fashion magazines.
Some authors make it seem inconceivable for a woman to tan, lose weight, get her cellulite removed or put on make-up simply for her own pleasure. I’ve read several articles and books that are dedicated to “helpless” women who have been “brainwashed” by the media and men.
In these articles, the beauty industry is described as an oppressive and abusive system that has “psychologically tortured” women into conforming to a westernised standard of beauty – tall, thin and white. Seriously?
To me, there is no such thing as an ideal standard of beauty, but so what if we would all like to be taller and thinner? I don’t see that as a sign of conforming – I see it as a sign of actually caring about yourself. Whether you achieve your ideal look through dieting or plastic surgery, make-up or skin lightening treatments, nobody has the right to accuse you of trying to be anything but the best version of yourself.
It angers me when borderline obese people are hailed for being “real women”. That idea implies that healthy women who count their calories are “fake”.
It also angers me that Lupita Nyongo, by sticking with her natural hair and dark skin is applauded, whereas equally beautiful girls like Meagan Goode don’t get the same recognition.
Goode can’t be a role-model for young women because her hair isn’t natural – she is westernised, which (for some reason I will never understand) is bad.
Long before the existence of the supposedly “oppressive” L’Oreal and Revlon and the office of Doctor 90210, women were cutting off their circulation with corsets. Concern about one’s appearance does not necessarily have to do with the beauty industry at all – let alone men.
A woman may go the extra mile to impress a potential suitor, but to say she has constructed her entire exterior on the perceived tastes of men is an exaggerated judgement. Why can’t a woman surgically enhance her chest or her derriere for herself ? Not everything we do is for the male species.
Ultimately, the choice of going to the salon for a pedicure or a new hairstyle, or going to the plastic surgeon’s office lies with the individual and depends on how secure she is about her looks, how much money she has and how much she values her appearance.
Women dress up for themselves, because it makes them feel good and because they enjoy the feeling of staring at a good-looking reflection in the mirror. If that reflection makes men turn their heads as they walk by, then it’s just an added bonus.