Touching traditions of Christmases past

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IAM still salivating over the Christmas lunch of one of my Facebook friends. A food connoisseur and egomaniac, my friend posted a picture of his mouthwatering rosemary, lemon and garlic leg of lamb.

The roasted lamb was stuffed with garlic and had been in the refrigerator for two days before he delicately prepared it for his Ballito family.

I am not complaining about my family lunch, though – and have no reason to wish my Facebook friend was at my home for Christmas.

In my family, we do not tell the world what meals we are having for Christmas. We do not make a big song and dance about who is at home for the traditional Christmas lunch. We still enjoy the simplicity of a no-frills, soulful, private affair.

Thinking of the seductive tricks played on our palates and our lean wallets via Facebook and other social media platforms, made me look back on days when Christmas was not such a mad festival of material excess.

This mass consumption day “in the spirit of Christmas” has now become the mother of all eating, drinking and other horrifying indulgences.

When I was growing up, simple things made the festive season special.

Either you were farmed out to relatives who lived far away, mainly in KwaZulu-Natal, or the relatives came over, commented on how quickly you had grown, asked about your performance at school and made your parents scold you more for making a noise while adults were talking.

Christmas time was also when some relatives would overstay their welcome, making it hard for my mother to spoil them on her meagre teacher’s salary.

Overall, though, even when a Christmas visit was turning into a nuisance, decency prevailed and no one was asked when they were leaving.

When I was growing up at Amahlongwa, south of Durban, a stone’s throw from Umkomaas, Christmas often meant preparing for the big day early in December. Painting and spring-cleaning the house featured prominently.

At times all these activities threatened to turn my life upside down, as one sensed parents mistook school holidays for child labour boot camps.

For us the silly season never justified taking things easy, as the living was never easy. For a short while Christmas Day meant we were a few days away from visiting Umgababa, then the most popular resort where blacks were allowed to flock to the beach for fun.

My childhood Christmas memories included heavy drinking men who would do the rounds of the neighbourhood and not even have the decency to return home for Christmas lunch.

Typically, a household would serve dumplings and meat, followed by traditional beer. When modern beer was served, the men would share and drink with relative moderation.

At times it was at Christmas that our petty childhood jealousies hit their worst levels in my family. We envied our neighbours whose father took them to a children’s Christmas party. Boastful and mean, they would return with gifts that only left us feeling less loved

Of course this was nonsensical – we also got our Christmas goodies, although toys were not significant in our family.

One Christmas our late uncle came with his family to spend the holidays. He brought a small black and white TV set that for a few days made our family the toast of the sleepy village.

TV made all of the children giggle and tease. Even adverts became a great source of merriment.

Some friends who lived in more rural parts spoke of how elated they were to have guzzled huge amounts of Coke and a loaf of brown bread each as part of the Christmas Day treat. They would wear their khaki pants, put on Vaseline blue seal to make their skin shine, and enjoy homecooked traditional chicken in a big basin.

Nowadays we do not bother with Christmas decorations. We also do not indulge in presents much; rather, we try to show love and care.

As we joke about loads of upcountry tourists who make our roads, supermarkets and bars busy, we learn to appreciate the little fortunes we have even more.

We make fun of friends from Gauteng who come to Durban to swim and buy the sea in plastic containers. While everyone in the family has now travelled to different parts of the world, we still do not want to exhibit our family lunch on social media

Christmas is still fun, but we strive to make it less of a financial burden.