Screaming in anger at Fox’s Scream Queens

DAVID

JLC employs three more Chanels/ Shannelles.

One is a former dungeon mistress, the other has no kidneys but 10 metres of extra intestines while the third has 11 fingers. I think I’m going to stop right here, except for a question to all the media scientists who consult this column.

Tell me this, media scientists. Why is this show on Dstv and fundamentally why does it even exist? Phone now with your explanations. Tiffany, Jade and Crystal are standing by, ready to take your calls.

My next question for the panel is: is broadcast television the right place to learn about politics or indeed any serious issues at all?

It was my pleasure – no, make that my singular pleasure – to hear a concise interview on BBC’S Newsnight anchored by Kirsty Wark.

She spoke to Yanis Varoufakis, a European politician of wit, intelligence and high moral standing. He spoke about his new book Adults in the Room: My battle with Europe’s Deep Establishment and commented on his inflammatory experiences as a former Greek Minister of Finance.

In contrast consider those 24-hour channels whose commentary is seldom constrained by time. CNN is a good example of bad practice with far too little information embedded in masses of draughty opinion.

I see little point in having trios of chatterers repeating each others’ main point while the chair interrupts and comments ad lib... Sadly ENCA, this nation’s broadcaster of record, also suffers from wind.

This mostly emits from the regulars such as Angelo Fick and Karima Brown who are obviously paid by the word. In massive contrast we have the passion and concision of Justice Malala.

Perhaps Fick and Brown should watch a few of his programmes and pick up some immunisation for their dire prolixity.