An action movie with a bromance
T ONCE reassuringly familiar – even starchy – and yet oddly unsatisfying, The Hitman’s Bodyguard is meatand-potatoes movie making at its most fungible. Co-starring Ryan Reynolds as Michael Bryce, a disgraced security expert seeking redemption, and Samuel L. Jackson as his nemesisturned-client Darius Kincaid – a murderer-for-hire Michael must reluctantly protect while Darius prepares to testify against a Belarusian dictator accused of war crimes (Gary Oldman) – the comic action/ buddy flick serves up an undistinguished bill of fare.
For the plot, there’s a bloody yet hard-to-swallow cut of sub prime red meat: The Hitman’s Bodyguard is gratuitously violent
Aand preposterous. For acting, there’s not one, but two cheesestuffed baked potatoes on the there’s a wilted word salad of vulgar repartee, the most common utterance of which – this being a Samuel L. Jackson film – is unprintable.
At other times, Darius’ putdowns are simply head-scratching: “I’ve eaten hamburgers that know more about women than you,” he tells Michael, during one of several man-to-man talks about woman troubles that they manage to squeeze in between escapades eluding assassins on the way to The Hague’s International Criminal Court.
To be sure, there is always a certain pleasure in watching Jackson do his thing: Glare, grin and then unload with a mouthful of invective, followed by a can of whup-ass. The same does not apply to Salma Hayek, who plays Darius’ foul-mouthed convict wife, Sonia. Promised release from prison if Darius agrees to help put Oldman’s Vladislav Dukhovich behind bars, Sonia has little to do except curse loudly and in Spanish.
Directed by Patrick Hughes (The Expendibles 3) from a script by Tom O’connor (Fire With Fire), The Hitman’s Bodyguard seems reverse-engineered to ape every middlebrow late-’80s-to-mid-’90s testosterone-fest, from Lethal Weapon to Bad Boys.
As Michael and Darius make their way to the Netherlands, it’s easy to forget exactly what is at stake for each of them. Only one fight scene –between Michael and Dukhovich’s henchman approaches the inspired level of a live-action comic book like, say, John Wick. Despite all the mayhem, The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a surprisingly bland dish. – The Washington Post