Don’t leave the non-drinkers dry

I WENT out on a week night and partied with the cool kids of Ethekwini this week, something I haven’t done in a while. My body is still punishing me for what I did to it.

At the party I received my first Christmas party invitation. I decided not to go. It’s happening next week and we are expected to dress up and wear elf hats.

I decided I’m not going to the party because it’s in November. I don’t understand why people think it’s cool to have Christmas events in November. What are we supposed to do in December?

It’s actually one of those “summer is here” events. I’m confused by the northern hemisphere Christmas theme.

There’s an art to throwing parties. Since I’ve been to some amazing and also dodgy ones, here are my pet peeves about some of the things organisers do:

People who don’t drink get a raw deal.

One reason I don’t go out much is that there aren’t many options for those who don’t drink alcohol. Half the time I end up drinking water or a soda.

I hate sodas, but that's almost always the only thing available. I once asked for a virgin cocktail and the bartender told me he’s using the cranberry juice for vodka cocktails. He was unapologetic about it too.

The only other juice available was orange. I settled for water. If you really want to make sure all your guests have fun, ensure those who don't imbibe are also catered for. There are great virgin cocktail recipes available and the wineries are getting better at making alcohol-free sparkling wine.

Canapés are not food.

I once went to an event where the only thing we had were these morsels. It was a long evening. I couldn't leave because I was a friend's plus one and they needed to stay as long as possible.

The minute we left, we drove to a Mcdonald’s.

You know a party was a bust when guests have to go to a takeout joint after midnight to get some food.

I get that people sometimes want to make the drinks flow, rather than the food, but cash bars exist for a reason. Don’t make your guests dress up just to starve. That’s not cool.

Small talk is ridiculous.

I do not want to talk about the weather, what Trevor Noah said on the Daily Show and why the rand is struggling.

I once went to a party where my phone was stuck to my hand, with my Twitter account enjoying increasing usage. The people at the table kept on talking about the most banal things. It was not as if we didn’t know each other, which made it worse.

Let’s rather talk about dope places to go on first dates, when is the perfect time to arrive at the Shongweni Farmers’ Market, why Shonda Rhimes is making Olivia Pope a power-hungry alcoholic on The Fixer and your thoughts on the third and final book in the Crazy Rich Asians series.

Wednesday saw chef and TV personality Pete Goffewood join East Coast Breakfast’s Dawn Thandeka King and

Kyle Deutsch as finalists for the final showdown. This coming Wednesday is the turn of magician Mo Magic and comedienne and TV director Krijay Govender to show us who has the range in the kitchen at Adega.