Killers see the error of their ways
It took doing time behind bars for them to see the light on woman abuse
LIKE the Biblical story of Saul, later renamed Paul, who killed worshippers before becoming a devout worshipper himself, two ex-convicts are now praise singers of anti-abuse against women initiatives.
Thabani Mkhize, 45, of Chesterville, and Nkululeko Mthembu, 38, not his real name, from Hammarsdale, who were jailed for killing their partners, say they are concerned about the increasing number of femicide cases in South Africa.
Statistics show that one woman is killed every six days in the country; many of the incidents arise from abusive relationships. The killings of Mangosuthu University of Technology student Zoleka Khumalo, 21, allegedly by her ex-boyfriend Thabani Mzolo, 23, a former MUT student, and Karabo Mokoena, by her boyfriend Sandile Mantsoe, are among recent cases that have thrust the issue into the spotlight.
Mkhize, who was sentenced to 10 years for killing his girlfriend in 2000, says he came out of Westville Prison a changed man.
“We can’t sit on our laurels when our sisters and daughters are being killed every day. We have to stand up as a nation and curb the scourge. We as men have a significant role to play, especially us as ex-convicts, who were arrested for abusing women,” he said.
While he repented in prison, he warned would-be killers that jail is not a healthy environment.
Recounting the moments before he stuck a table knife into the chest of his then girlfriend, who he did not want named, Mkhize said: “I was overcome by anger and made that decision that will haunt me for the rest of my life. My warning to men is that, no matter how angry you are, beating up a woman is not the answer.”
Mkhize said he worked with anti-violence initiatives against women led by organisations in umlazi including the Masibambane Sonke NGO.
“Although I work behind the scenes I hope that my contribution has some impact on the initiatives against the abuse of women,” he said.
Mthembu, who was released in 2012 after he was found guilty of murdering his partner in 2007, said the fight against the abuse of women could not be left in the hands of the government alone.
“It requires all hands to be on deck. It’s a fight that can be won if we all play our role.”
Mthembu was initially reluctant to speak to the Sunday Tribune, saying the events of that fateful night still give him sleepless nights.
“If we don’t talk about these things, more women are going to be killed. But talking alone is not enough. We must act against these people,” he said.
Mthembu said, in his case, it started with minor changes which ended up with him assaulting his partner. “But it got deeper to the point that I would throw her against the wall over petty things such as her coming home a bit late.
“I realised when I was in jail that I was a monster and she hoped I would change, but it took prison to change me,” he said.
Mthembu urged women involved in abusive relationships to dump their partners.
“But I know that sometimes women are killed because of taking a stand and dumping their abusive partners,” said Mthembu.
He wouldn’t disclose the reason that led him to kill his partner, only saying that it was a “stupid decision”. Mthembu works with NGOS and gave talks in KZN prisons against the abuse of women.