Mom uses her loss to help comfort others

EVERY Wednesday between 5pm and 7pm you might come across a group of people, mainly women, screaming at the top of their lungs in the streets of Pietermaritzburg, in Kwazulu-natal.

More than likely, they will be members of “Roxy’s Comfort”, an NPO started by businesswoman Shirley Naidoo following the death of her daughter almost a year ago.

Naidoo said Roxanne Kamitha Singh, her youngest daughter, was only 30-years-old when she was diagnosed with both bladder and lymphatic cancer in 2017.

At the time, she was planning her wedding which was scheduled for January last year.

However, due to her ill health, Roxy’s wedding was postponed and shortly thereafter, she died before she and her fiancée Rakesh could celebrate their big day.

“At the time she was diagnosed, she was working as a chef on a wine farm in Stellenbosch. She was a free spirit who loved her dogs, and did lots of charity work,” said Naidoo.

She said Roxy’s condition was only diagnosed when her cancer was already in stage four, and even though she underwent various treatments, it was not enough to save her life.

“When I brought her home from Cape Town, I had to be strong for my other two children, and I didn’t want to cry in front of them.

“I would go walking or road running, and sometimes I would just scream out my frustration and pain. It really helped me a lot, and that’s why I encourage all our members to do the same.

“Just scream or cry. Just let it out.” When Roxy died, Naidoo wanted to provide a haven for cancer survivors, and those who had lost loved ones to the disease. That was how Roxy’s Comfort was born.

“Seeing your child suffer in front of you, and there is nothing you can do, is one of the most painful things for a mother,” she said.

Her aim is to highlight how easily bladder cancer could be overlooked, as very little information was available when her daughter was diagnosed, and it is still hard to find.

“She bled a lot, and some doctors thought it was irregular menstruation.”

Naidoo describes Roxy as a very “giving person” who once put her career on hold for six months to look after pre-schoolers, free of charge, because she loved children so much, and wanted to give back to society.

This giving nature is exactly what Naidoo is also known for in Pietermaritzburg.

A cobbler by trade, Naidoo said she grew up in a home where they had very little, but at least managed to eat every day.

As a child, her dad held down two jobs to ensure that the family could survive, in a factory during the day and as a waiter at night.

“My first job was at Richleigh Shoes with my dad after I left school in standard eight.”

She eventually married at the age of 20 and had three daughters.

When Naidoo’s fortunes improved and she owned a shoe factory, she was able to hand out school shoes to kids from financially impoverished families. And even today, she is often seen serving food to those desperately in need of assistance.

“Life is short, so don’t chase money. Let it come to you. Enjoy the little things, she said.”

Apart from Roxy’s Comfort, where various activities like walking and yoga classes are held weekly, she is taking her campaign to highlight bladder cancer to Africa’s highest mountain.

In September, Naidoo and a group of women from Pietermaritzburg will be scaling Mount Kilimanjaro, and she aims to raise money and awareness to support those with bladder cancer.

“Our greatest wealth is our health. When my daughter died, I hit rock bottom, but my oldest daughter pointed out that not many women had my health and wealth, and that made me more determined to make a difference in society,” said Naidoo.

She hopes someone who reads about her experience will gain strength from it, and encourages those who need support to call her at 082 534 9792.