Princess Irene Buthelezi remembered
PRINCESS IRENE BUTHELEZI
For more than six decades, Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi loved only one woman, his beloved Princess Irene. This is an extract from a story first published in this newspaper on February 14, 2016:
BORN into a family in which having many wives was the norm, Buthelezi chose to remain with one woman. As with any true love tale, the IFP leader said he would never forget “that special day” in January 1949 when he met Irene Audrey Thandekile Mzila.
He was just 20 and had accompanied his uncle, Prince Mshiyeni kadinuzulu, to his son’s wedding in Randfontein.
“We stayed at the Wenela Compound in Eloff Street, run by Zachariah Mzila. There I met Mzila’s beautiful daughter. She was about to do a nursing course at St Aidan’s Hospital in Durban.
“I was mesmerised. She was full of life, intelligent and kind. She had a quiet sophistication that would have served her well in the diplomatic corps. It did not take me long to ask for her hand in marriage.”
Buthelezi’s father, Inkosi Mathole Buthelezi, the Zulu monarch’s prime minister, had 20 wives. His mother was Princess Magogo kadinuzulu. Her brother, King Solomon kadinuzulu, had 40 wives and died young, aged 40.
It was expected of Buthelezi that he, too, would marry more than one wife.
“After my father’s death, I was raised by Prince Mshiyeni, who became regent during the interregnum. He had one wife and I chose to follow his example.
“Over the years, I came under some pressure to take another wife, but I am a Christian and I believe in marriage to one woman.”
Buthelezi found himself often wondering how he would have coped with more than one wife, considering the demands on his time. But he has no regrets. “I never lacked anything having only one wife. Princess Irene has been my closest friend, my adviser, my prayer warrior and the love of my life.”
He said she was an exceptional mother and grandmother. “We were blessed with eight children – five daughters and three sons. She loved them all generously.
“Tragically, we have buried five of our children and have thus taken over the care of many of our grandchildren.”
She was always available to them and deeply interested in everything they did, said Buthelezi.
For the long-lasting couple, keeping their marriage alive was easy. “We kept the Lord at the centre of our marriage. He is our greatest cheerleader, and with backing like that it is hard not to believe in lasting love.
“I also made a point of remembering special dates. It certainly helps too that we both have a sense of humour”.
He said that when he was made an honorary member of the Chefs’ Association of South Africa in the 1990s, “I proudly related this to my wife and showed her my certificate. She lowered her eyes and smiled.
“I asked why she was laughing at me and she said we had been married for more than 40 years and she had never seen me cook a meal.
“I reminded her I could fry an egg and she burst out laughing,” he said.
As with any marriage, theirs had its ups and downs. “The biggest challenge was maintaining hope in the midst of the people’s war of the 1980s and early 1990s. That war turned against the IFP because of my stand against sanctions and the armed Struggle.
“Many threats were made on my life and there was more than one assassination attempt. It was hard for Irene. She feared for my safety.
“It was particularly hard for her to understand the conflict between the ANC and Inkatha, for her father had been good friends with Nelson Mandela, and we became good friends too.”
“So it was hard for her to endure the propaganda against me. It hurt her to see me maligned, even after I spent more than six decades serving my country,” he said.
Princess Irene wrote these comments when asked to reflect on the nearly seven decades she spent at Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi’s side:
“I was born and raised in the heart of Johannesburg, where I trained to be a nurse. I was used to a lot of bustle and activity, but I fell in love with a man destined to become the traditional leader of his clan.
“I knew that if we married, we would live in the countryside. For love, I gave up city life – and was surprised at the depth of happiness I found.
“I always felt gratitude towards my late mother-in-law, Princess Magogo kadinuzulu, for she embraced me like a daughter.
“She helped me understand the cultural nuances of my new life. I was now the wife of inkosi Buthelezi. But much more lay ahead, for my husband would become a Cabinet minister, the president of the second largest black political party and (briefly) acting president.”