INJURY TIME
INFANTI-DOH!
So, just so everyone is clear, president of world football gods Gianni Infantino reckons Africans won’t try to take dangerous boat rides into Europe if the men’s World Cup is held every two years. “We need to find ways to include the whole world to give hope to Africans so that they don’t need to cross the Mediterranean in order to find maybe a better life but, more probably, death in the sea,” he told the Council of Europe. So that’s what it’s about – saving the African refugees and nothing whatsoever to do with the extra $4.4 billion (R68.61 billion) profit Fifa could make from having all those extra tournaments.
OUT OF CONTEXT
Infantino then typically said his remark had been taken out of context. How? “I wish to clarify that in my speech my more general message was that everyone in a decision-making position has a responsibility to help improve the situation of people around the world. If there are more opportunities available, including in Africa, but certainly not limited to that continent, this should allow people to take these opportunities in their own countries. This was a general comment, which was not directly related to the possibility of playing a Fifa World Cup every two years." Except the comment made was directly linked to Fifa hosting the World Cup every two years.
CAF KISS FOR GIANNI
The sycophants at the Confederation Africaine de Football did not miss the opportunity to fall lockstep in line with their European overlord. In a statement that ran to 344 words, which included the fact that the CAF president Patrice Motsepe’s phone was ringing off the hook, CAF’S media department said Infantino’s remarks were “misunderstood and misinterpreted”. President Infantino did not say that the Fifa World Cup every two years will stop Africans from crossing the Mediterranean Sea,” read the statement. He did say so.
‘THE SMALL CAT’
We raised a glass to Daniil Medvedev and his excellent way out of earning a second code violation for bad language in the Australian Open men’s semi-final he played against Stefanos Tsitsipas. Having already called for one “audible obscenity” violation just a few moments earlier, Medvedev risked losing a point if he did so again. And so we now have the immortal line “you are, how can I call it, a small cat”, which Medvedev delivered to the umpire.
STING OPERATION
That interaction set off a most bizarre follow-up. Recognising that there may be some truth to Medevedev’s claims that Tsitsipas was getting “coaching” – which is illegal in tennis –from his father, tournament officials ran a “sting operation”. They posted umpire Eva Azadarakis-moore – who speaks Greek – close to where Tsitsipas senior was sitting, but where he couldn’t see her. When she overheard the illegal assistance from the coach’s box, she signalled to the on-court umpire, who immediately dished out a code violation to the Greek. Honestly, this year’s Australian Open has been wild.
‘DRIPPING WITH COVID’
Comedian Pete Davidson as Novak Djokovic on American sketch show Saturday Night Live: “People love to tear you off your pedestal just because you’re really rich or you’re the best at tennis or you go to a charity event with 200 kids, even though you’re dripping with Covid.”