Candle-lighting event for parents of children who are taken too soon
THE pain of losing a family member never goes away.
Some bereaved families choose to keep their sons and daughters close by lighting candles for them each year while supporting each other through their grief.
About 300 members of such families will gather on Sunday at the Pavilion Hotel in North Beach to remember their loved ones.
The candle lighting ceremony is an annual event organised by The Compassionate Friends (TCF), a child loss support group which offers comfort and encouragement to parents, siblings and grandparents.
Anitha Deenanath, the KZN chapter leader, said 450 candles provided by donors and families would be lit for each child while saying their name. Although the ceremony is always filled with emotion and tears, many leave hopeful and encouraged that their loved ones are watching over them.
Deenanath joined the support group 16 years ago when she lost her son, Ashlyn. It was his first night at work and he was involved in an accident which left him with severe head injuries. He died a few days later, leaving his family in despair.
“I was introduced to TCF at that point in time and I have never been absent from the support group. I understand where all these parents have been and what they are going through, so I am able to help them with their journey,”she said.
“This ceremony enables the parents to express their grief. Close family and friends, those who have given them necessary support, love and courage in their time of need and bereavement and have stood by them are also always with us.”
The support group meets monthly at the Pavilion Hotel as well as at the Botanical Gardens and Mitchell Park.
“Meetings are open to all KZN families. We gather and talk, parents are allowed to share about their children and their experiences. We introduce them to different books written by other parents who have lost their children,” she said.
Deenanath said she was encouraged by the support group’s ability to bring smiles to faces of parents who were struggling with grief. She said they would continue making a difference in their small way.
“My hope is that every parent should realise at the end of the day that their child is here and we believe that there is a higher power that has a reason to take your child so early,” she said.