There is still life out there
Failing matric does not make you a failure
FAILURE is the beginning of success. It’s an opportunity to learn from mistakes and errors of judgement. It is an opportunity to re-address one’s strategy for life.
The real failure is when we lament failure and feel sorry for ourselves and want to hide from the world by using alcohol and drugs, getting married too early, contemplating ending our life. These are not solutions.
No person has been successful at everything in life. More valuable is courage to change. Parents and students must incorporate strategies for reviewing the reason for failure. Blaming yourself and judging yourself and loved ones is probably the worst strategy to pursue.
No one fails on purpose. Therefore no one need feel guilty and be punished. Rather, learning to cope with shame as a teacher is probably the best strategy in life.
Remember that those who fail only fail the standard that others set for them. Your strengths may be in other areas of life.
There may be many reasons for failure. Undiagnosed learning disabilities, substance abuse, poor support from teachers and family, as well as financial reasons.
However, probably the most important reasons for failure lie in the realm of emotional trauma and the related brain changes affecting memory, motivation, concentration and judgement.
It may not be a person’s fault, but it is definitely a person’s responsibility to lovingly and honestly self-assess and remedy any shortcomings.
Remember also, that as you move into adult life, there will be massive opportunities to learn skills that will provide the scaffolds upon which you will build your life.
Developing your genetic intellect, your emotional intellect and your spiritual intellect will provide you with greater happiness and peace.
When you are young, you will need to let go of harmful pride that holds back your growth, and continue learning from others’ experiences, voluntary work, technical education, reading and adult-education courses.
There are also many open-source courses on the internet that can give you knowledge. Seek out and build your life plan.
Everyone is special and part of life entails finding your purpose and expressing it in your selected vocation or occupation.
Many matriculants will be out looking for jobs.
The economic climate is not encouraging for youngsters. All your efforts must be grounded in educating yourself to eventually become self-reliant.
For South Africa to be successful, we need minds that are teachable, flexible and honest, to build the small-, medium- and micro-enterprise sector. And this will become a reality if we work and learn with purpose.
A large part of my life is spent rehabilitating people to become smarter and better managers of their lives.
It’s crucial to build self-esteem, remove doubt and help people to devise a strategy for life while they let go of paralysis caused by fear, inconsideration, dishonesty and self-seeking behaviour.
Ego and defiance are barriers to change. Those we have helped have demonstrated the courage to change.
To those who’ve passed their examinations, we congratulate you and expect you to continue working on developing a holistic maturity as you enter a new world of opportunity.
Remember that, for many of you, this will be your first taste of freedom. Do not underestimate this wonderful opportunity to express yourself.
Have your life strategy designed before you engage the world out there. Know your strengths and weaknesses.
Preparing for college includes knowing how you will contribute to the world community. You need to treasure yourself and know the world will be enriched by you.
Take care of your health, for it determines the vehicle that will carry you through your life. Be cautious of experimenting with substances because of the potential for risk and damage.
Every addict began with an innocent search for wholeness. You become who you associate with.
No matter where you find yourself, passing or not passing, we must remember that we are not alone on this planet: there is always someone to talk to about your fears and insecurities. Never lose hope.
Dr Lochan Naidoo is the president of the South African Federation of Mental Health and the founder of
Jullo Addiction Rehabilitation Centre in Merebank. He is also a founding member of the Healing Hills Psychiatry Hospital in Pietermaritzburg.