Class, crudity n chaos ‘
Excited yokels, looooong speeches and raw jokes
ITS public knowledge now that
’ Shwashwi mingles with the fab and glam.
Mobile giant MTN hosted moi and five other equally fab journos on a trip to Polokwane, Limpopo for Capricorn FM s fifth B-day
’ party, or rather B-day party weekend.
The luxury Ruby Stone Boutique Hotel was home for two days and nights. Fab.
The first stop was the Ranch Hotel for the lengthiest gala dinner moi has ever attended. Some peeps just don t know
’ the term summarise ”, do they?
“As if that wasn t torture enough,
’ it included a le-e-e-e-e-e-engthy award ceremony.
It was chaired by Capricorn FM DJ and presenter, funnyman Shonisani Muleya, aka Shabba, with his crude jokes.
He went on about some woman s chest hair before
’ handing her a certificate. Imagine how she felt!
Did I mention that he literally handed out certificates to EVERYONE employed at the station? Oh, that s before I
’ walked out. OMG, I couldn t
’ … I mean, really, all these people none of us has ever heard of getting all excited about their fame.
Friday saw us at the Camelot Spa for a full body scrub and we left feeling like a billion bucks!
Then we watched some local big shots (also unknowns) playing golf.
Rather like watching paint dry.
Then it was another depressingly long prize-giving. Yawn
… But Saturday was the Limpopo music festival. It had a mixed-up guest list, artists not pitching on time and the programme not following the schedule. What s new?
’ We arrived when Tsepo Tshola, aka the Village Pope, was delivering his flawless performance. It was almost breathtaking!
Shabba, who was MC for the evening again! continued with his
– – X-rated, creepy jokes. Clearly I m the only one who keeps
’ missing his punch lines.
Or perhaps some of us are just too refined to enjoy raw crudity.
Songstress Lira kept us waiting for a good half hour. But when she showed up to do what she does best, it was worth the wait.
Afro soul singer Zonke took the stage in a glittery, short black dress, crisp white jacket and black leggings to seal it all off.
Then it started pouring! Did anyone check the weather forecast? The rain didn ’ t dampen spirits though.
Veteran kwaito exponent Mdu Masilela gave the most unbelievable performance.
He literally got revellers to dance in the rain. You shoulda seen all the heads bobbing up and down like buoys in the sea. Talk about the power of persuasion!
Five electrifying minutes later, some annoying random chick from Capricorn FM, Karabo Maile, spoilt the party.
This nuisance of a chick was playing MC and got booed off stage by the
gatvol crowd for talking nonsense. Sad indeed. Hah, these yokels have suss after all! The rain wouldn ’ t stop, so to preserve my weave and false lashes I dashed off to the hotel to catch some much-needed beauty sleep. Oh dear, MTN team and hosts, do marry
moi. All of you...