The unbeerable lightness of being
SHWA was so excited to hear that Amstel was launching a light beer. Now moi can sip without worrying about added calories. It has 25% less calories, but is still a fullbodied beer. Happy days!
So off I went to get my stash of the good stuff at the launch in Sandton, Jozi, on Wednesday.
Moi was early for a change, but was told to stand in the foyer like some random nxh! Clearly they don t know shim was doing them a favour by just being there.
Anyhow, the beer lovers came to the party hoping to score free beer goody bags and drink as much Amstel as they could, as did I.
I hoped to see 3sum Amstel and Koyo, or are they calling themselves 2sum now that the beautiful soul Jeff is no longer in the picture?
Abo mlungu came in numbers and the DJs, Keba Bopape and Taariq Adams of Tymless Kultcha, had them dancing like crazy robots to deep house music.
Clearly democracy didn t come with rhythm for everyone, shem!
The lovely Tango Ncetezo wore a nice lacy top with a black pencil skirt. She looked hot, moi was jealous of her.
Nolly Meje was a vixen in a trendy red coat and a majestically tied doek. She s learning!
Amstel brand manager Avukile Mabombo almost had moi s jaws drop on the ground. Brother is so hot with those long dreadlocks and strong muscles, showed off perfectly in brown jacket and jeans. He had me singing Extraaaa Strong I swear I won t be like Delilah and cut off your Samson locks, just a give a gal a chance.
The beer portfolio manager from brandhouse, Diederik Vos, looked yummy in a
…skinny grey suit, and the Dutch accent had moi drooling. Just image us talking in tongues Moi will be your nyatsi any day!
Twins On Deck Darren and Ryan Rigney were late, but Shwa forgives them since they re so cute. But they look so much alike, Shwa had a difficult time telling them apart.
Bumped into Tamara Dey looking casual but elegant in a waterfall cardi and black leggings.
judge Randall Abrahams was there too. Kante, this bloke is everywhere lately.
Knowing his bitchy behaviour, I didn t even bother asking how he was doing. I wonder what he and Vincent Ntuli of Universal were talking about. Shwa wished she was a fly on the wall nearby.
uMrepper Kwesta graced us with his presence, with his jeans falling from his ass. Who said all aboMrepper should have their posteriors on show?
Drunk as a skunk, moi tried sneaking away and bumped into Miss Amanda Du Pont, the host of the event. Her outfit sobered me right up. She looked like a horror movie on Oxford Street hot body or not. She clearly got the wrong memo, there was nothing crisp and refreshing about her look. Darling, leave looking trashy to pros like Pam Andrews.
…Shwa has the memory of an elephant, and if my memory serves me right, the 66-year-old King Goodwill Zwelithini s new wife is the same one who caused all the furore 10 years ago when she joined the royal household, at age 17, as a future wife. Now she is 28 and has a nine-year-old son, Prince Nhlendla Zulu. Does this mean His Royal Highness deflowered her back then?
My unreliable sources tell me that Thembi Seete, she of the flop, sang karaoke to an old Boom Shaka song at Busy Corner in Thembisa. Apparently the drunk patrons loved the show. You know your career is over when you start singing in shebeens and taverns.
Okay, now, I don t claim to be a guru on all things TV, but the name of Khanyi Mbau s new show, just doesn t sound right. Catch what, exactly?
Criminals have broken into the Interpol offices in Pretoria and stole some computers. Isn t Interpol supposed to be like supercops? If cops are not safe from criminals, then how safe are we under their protection? I will hire a good old matshingilani to guard my house and possessions henceforth.
Soccer sponsor MTN must be feeling like a penny with a hole in it after Sundowns coach Pitso Mosimane said its R8million Top8 tournament was not a priority for him.
Siyabonga Thwala must be the reason so many women watch Mzansi Magic s Isibaya. Women claim the highbrow Zulu on the soapie makes them feel weak at the knees. When Thwala took to the stage with some fellow cast members at M-Net and MultiChoice s Galaxy of Stars event in Midrand last Saturday, I could hear hearts skipping a beat. There was something violently sexy about men in skins doing Zulu dance, and Thwala can sing, too! Shwa wrote her number on her bloomers and threw it on stage, but he has not called.
Women s Day is not too far away and the notorious Morris Roda looks like he will live up to his reputation for nondelivery. Those looking forward to Brandy and Jaheim visiting should make other plans.
They say certain things should be left in the past, but R.Kelly s keeps following him. A music fest in Ohio was forced to toss him from the lineup because other artists started pulling out. They hold Kelly s past allegations of child pornography and sexual assault against him, despite his acquital in 2008. On that note, Aaliyah s story is coming to the big screen next year. Let s see how much truth is revelead. It s scary how much singer B.Simone, who plays Aaliyah, resembles her. Did Kelly have anything to do with this?