Mama you've earned your beer for protecting us ... cheers!
HER horse must be saddled by now.
In a matter of days from today, she will ride off into the sunset.
In the last seven years, she took on scruffy outlaws in the Wild South.
When the smoke settled, she was always the last woman standing.
Once she had a looter of the public purse in the crosshairs, she never hesitated to pull the trigger.
The Pirates of Polokwane had barely settled when she rode into town.
With her diminutive frame and deceptively soft voice, she rolled up her sleeves and got to work.
To borrow from Minister Mbaweezy, she took on the vagabonds, discharged jailbirds, escaped galley slaves, swindlers, mountebanks, lazzaroni, pickpockets, tricksters, gamblers, pimps, brothel keepers, porters, literati, organ grinders, ragpickers, knife grinders, tinkers ...”
The Twimister, of course, borrowed the above colour from German philosopher, economist and journalist, Karl Marx.
As Makhadzi leaves on October 15, she leaves behind a trail of bodies: rotting cadavers that choked on the dust of pilfering.
Whether it was a minister who overstayed their welcome in a luxury hotels, Makhadzi would lift her rifle: Crack!
When a top sheriff breached procurement regulations by awarding a lease tender unlawfully, Makhadzi took aim: Boom!
When Cloudy landed job as the Kahuna at the public broadcaster without a matric certificate: Makhadzi pulled the trigger: Kazaam!
The commander of the unarmed veterans suffered foot-in-mouth when he called her a foreign spy.
The former cook apologised quickly when he realised he had bitten more than he could chew.
But that did not deter the band of his umkhaba’d protégés from the youth league from repeating the same claims without providing the evidence.
There is no doubt this gang will toast Makhadzi’s leaving with a bottle of Moët & Chandon this week.
Just two months ago, desperadoes petrol-bombed her offices after they claimed she refused to investigate apartheid-era crime.
Always calm and collected, Makhadzi took it in her stride.
Many have clamoured for her to take up political office in her next venture.
But a Makhadzi, an aunt, is a nonpolitical figure who serves as a buffer between the ruler and the people.
The fickle public that today says they d vote for her can tomorrow bite her head off when the mud in the political ring sticks.
Political wrestling is a sport for those who’ve made playing dirty their career.
Makhadzi’s vocabulary is woefully insult free and that’s a serious impediment in our parliament.
Whatever she chooses to do with her next life, the Straight & Two Beers crew has saved her a case of beer to chilla nathi.
Come on now Thuli, you’ve earned it, and besides, two-nyana won’t do you harm.
Drinks on the house, Mama.