It’s good to err in the direction of politeness

Greetings! These simple words uttered to strangers and family alike are the cornerstone of etiquette. And etiquette dictates that the last to arrive at the table, in the room, in the lift or any setting for that matter, is the first to greet.

Therefore, the last to arrive in the queue, greets those who are in hearing shot. The last to enter a taxi, greets those that are already inside. It is good manners to first greet the cashier at the till, the teller at the bank or the salesperson at a shop before proceeding with the business of the day.

The energy in the room changes when the opposite happens, that is, when an individual or group acts outside of this etiquette. This is what distinguishes great service from bad; gracious hosts from the impolite, good manners from bad, and humility from the absence of this quality.

If you have saved money, time and effort by merely acknowledging the people in the room, or the individual offering a service, you probably know that it costs more not to do it. It costs even more to be rude.

How many times have you been told after a brief exchange of pleasantries that “have you seen our special”? A “hello” encourages a cashier to tell you that you can get 1kg of a product for the price of 750g. A cashier, whose queue is snaking around the shop, is not compelled to send you down the aisle to fetch an extra item so that you qualify for the “buy two and get one free” special.

But a friendly greeting, an acknowledgement of another person’s presence, goes a long way in making shopping or service requests more pleasant.

Greetings bridge the divide between social, societal and class groups. In South Africa, greetings are the bedrock of ubuntu. Humility is, therefore, a prerequisite of ubuntu. At the centre of ubuntu is acknowledging another person as a human being regardless of their social, political and economic standing.

Humility goes hand in glove with greeting another in line with etiquette and the unwritten rules that guide interaction between people. So, when people quip that an individual has ubuntu, they mean that they greet others regardless of their position in society.

Greetings are the foundation of neighbourliness. They are an indication of healthy relations among people. Greetings start, nurture and strengthen relationships. Inversely, when relationships are tested, so are the greetings. When relationships are strained, so will the greetings.

Greetings are an icebreaker. Whether it is greeting strangers at a table, in the bus or groups of people that line the pavement at a gathering, it is always advisable to err in the direction of politeness.

It is better to have greeted and have that greeting not reciprocated than to not have greeted at all.