Hot mgosi & celebs
Great event, but Chibuku mix... really?
Gogo or Dr Maweni and her team put together a fabulous event this week as she finally launched the Bungoma Festival at the Constitutional Hill in Braamfontein, Joburg.
I am still confused why she demands to be called Dr, when we already have Dr Rebecca Malope and Dr Mamkhize. By the way, when is Shwa getting her own honorary doctorate – haven’t I contributed enough to pop culture?
Back to gossip, I was let down by the fact that most people on the performers list did not show up.
• There were two gogos who stood out for me , because they were gorgeous in their Gucci outfits. It was Gogo Somizi Mhlongo and Gogo Maweni, who looked cute.
No pun intended, but Somgaga is only a gogo by age, not by calling. Mohale’s ex-somgaga made a brief appearance. Thank you for respecting the invite Somgaga, unlike your colleagues.
• Still on Gogo Maweni. She has a reputation for not only rolling bones but for picking hot men, even though they end up being public clowns. Her current man is hot and polite. We can only pray that these Joburg girls who love to pounce on people’s boyfriends and husbands stay away from Dr Maweni’s stud as I am told if you mess with her man you are applying for free mental health issues.
• Another cute Gogo, who has a dashing hubby, is reality show star Gogo Skhotheni who was dressed like Makhadzi on stage in some skimpy leather outfit. Where do these sangomas meet these hot guys? Are they brought in by clients who are coming to consult, or do they meet at initiation school or on social media?
• Tiktok sensation Sizwe Mdlalose is a breath of a fresh air in the entertainment industry. He kept the crowd amused. I am sure growing up he was one of those annoying township kids who used to make a living by annoying stressed adults for talking nonstop, or was the cause of many fights in the hood.
Yoooh! That guy can’t stop talking, even during drinks. Outside the venue he was still talking while his poor friends were just listening. I bet he is the topic of much pillow talk.
• Musician Mnqobi Yazo gave us an amazing, brief performance but my eyes were glued to his mic… the fact that he is hot makes his performances all the better.
• Blast from the past fashion designer and former Khanyi Mbau BFF Jeff Seleka is still looking good. I remember how they used to paint the town red.
They were inseparable, reminding me of Carol Bouwer and her many friendships on social media. Talk about social media hustlers.
• Another internet sensation , comedian and influencer Ntombi Eziningi was born for this. His Zulu humour is out of this world, I could not stop laughing. I wouldn’t mind watching your reality show or seeing more of you on TV.
• The goodie bag was Chibuku mix and an Umbrella. What a let-down. The event went from serving people expensive booze at the bar to that underwhelming goodie, which has no place in celebville. I guess Shwa’s standards are high as I saw sangomas happy that they were going to make a quick mix of five litres of mqombothi.
Anyways, thanks for the invite.
Thuli Phongolo, what exactly were you spinning on those decks at the SA Tourism marquee during Durban July? Seriously… no “halla” to the house… no “can you feel it?”… not even a drop of sweat as you spin those hot vinyls… nada nje! Just you, looking like a Barbie doll, makeup and boob tube dress intact and all!
Shwa, due to lack of groove, just opted to lay back and enjoy first-grade food and drinks flowing at the marquee, now that was top tier! No gal, just stick to being sexy and leave the spinning to real jiggaz like Uncle Waffles please! Or better yet, beg for your job back at The Wife, at least you rocked that role!
Were you at the
Durban July, DJ Zinhle? Shwa did not see you. Was it an outfit issue? Cause mwah can’t imagine you following a scripted theme and wearing some ridiculous dress that you’ll probably never don again!
Now we had to settle for wannabe-be DJS who bored mwah to tears. Just imagine!
DJ Fresh where are you, ndoda?
Tiktok is available for you to “reinvent” yourself.
You know, ama 2000 will surely hype and get you back on the drive there, bro!
Quick question Big Dawg, is your Instagram following dwindling or is Shwa just bad with numbers?
Why are tweeps in a fit because Julius Malema was spinning some decks at Ibiza? Man could be competition for some who think Dj-ing, just like nursing, is something to fall back on when life throws them lemons! Juju became the life of the party there, jealous down, jiving and pumping to his own beats! By the way, who is your make-up artist Mrs Malema, cause baby gal you always look fine and polished next to your man!
Not even one individual at the National Freedom Party structures sees fit to raise the issue of the party continuing to use the late Kamagwaza-msibi as the face of the party? Really now NFP, can you at least hurry up with the process and elect a new leader already? Don’t you have a deputy, ke and can use their face instead? Shwa can’t even look at your posters with her face splashed all over! That’s one less vote for you, definitely! Stop it now, this is getting annoying, and cringeworthy, strue!
Still on dwindling fame and numbers, how is Euphonik’s isithembu “stint” going?
Hope the two Mrs are getting along yeah! Please update us Mr DJ, we wanna write about it and fill up the pages again!
Is the rumour going around the mill that The Wife’s two lead actors are about to depart true? If it is, then you might as well close shop bafethu! What is the telenovela without Hlomu and Bhut’omdala, played by Mbalenhle Mavimbela and Mondli Makhoba? Next thing Mqhele, played by Bonko Khoza, will also exit! Then all we’ll be left with is Khanyi Mbau, who Shwa always wondered how she, speaking third-grade Zulu, ended up among that great cast in the first place!
To the heartbroken ladies who hoped, waited and even prepared to enter “the space”. What are your plans now since millionaire hunk and Amazulu FC chairman Sandile Zungu was snapped up?
DJ Tira, are you thrilled with the reviews of your Durban July outfit?
Cause really, the designer, or is it some seamstress from Grey Street who created those curtains, should have been fired on the spot!