Sweeter sec­ond time around

14 years heal bit­ter di­vorce for Virginia and Nat

Sunday World - - Life - By So­maya Stock­en­stroom so­[email protected]­day­world.co.za

Some­times two peo­ple need to let go in or­der to find each other again.

The story of Virginia and Nat Mohlat­lole is not one many can re­late to. Only a few will at­tempt to re­marry af­ter an ac­ri­mo­nious di­vorce

Virginia says the sep­a­ra­tion was nec­es­sary as they are now more ma­ture and re­spect each other more.

Their first mar­riage was on De­cem­ber 4, 1998.

But it didn’t last long as they di­vorced due to what they saw as ir­rec­on­cil­able dif­fer­ences then, de­spite hav­ing two chil­dren to­gether.

How­ever, 14 years later they rekin­dled the flame.

“In June 2016 I parted with some­one I was see­ing. When I had to at­tend my ex-hus­band’s un­cle’s funeral in Lim­popo I needed a lift from him. On that day as we drove down, I no­ticed some changes in him. He had ma­tured, had great wis­dom and he was a God-fear­ing per­son. I also re­alised how gen­er­ous he was and that he loved me and all my chil­dren.

“The man I mar­ried the first time had changed a lot. All the years I was scep­ti­cal to go back to him be­cause our di­vorce was ter­ri­ble,” she says.

Virginia, 46, ex­plains that Nat, 54, wanted them to get back to­gether in 2008 and 2011 but she was not yet ready. She wasn’t happy in her new re­la­tion­ship ei­ther.

“I said to my­self, ‘Vee, wait a minute, you have al­ways known that you will get back to­gether but you did not know when. The time is now... you have two choices. It’s ei­ther you go back or you get stuck in your cur­rent re­la­tion­ship which is go­ing nowhere’. Since then I de­cided Vavula tanu vanhu vakurhandzana,” she said.

Things took a turn when she was plan­ning a dream hol­i­day.

“I called him. I had planned a va­ca­tion to Europe with a friend. But she wasn’t go­ing any­more, which meant I was to travel alone to France and Italy for nine nights. I called my ex and asked him to join me for the va­ca­tion al­ready paid for.

“We trav­elled to Paris on 14 Nov 2016 and the fol­low­ing day he asked me to marry him again, right be­fore the Eif­fel Tower. I couldn’t stop pinch­ing my­self as it was like I’m dream­ing. We spent three nights in Paris and headed to Italy Venice, Rome and Florence.”

Their wed­ding was held on a beach in the Sey­chelles on Oc­to­ber 28 last year.

“Orig­i­nally it was sup­posed to be the two of us but I con­vinced him to in­vite our friends. The re­cep­tion was at the Avani Bar­barons Spa and Re­sort in Mis­erie Sey­chelles. We were 50 in to­tal in­clud­ing my four chil­dren. My hus­band’s friend, Makopane Nch­a­be­leng, was there. It was be­cause of him that we met many years ago and he has been to both our wed­dings,” says Virginia.

She says be­cause it was their sec­ond mar­riage they wanted to do things dif­fer­ently and didn’t con­cen­trate too much on tra­di­tions and rit­u­als.

In­stead of a ball­gown she wore first time round, Virginia wanted to show off her edgier side and wore a form fit­ted mer­maid dress.

“This time it was just an ac­cep­tance of each other with new vows to seal our love. Part of our vows was that we are to al­low each other space to do the things we love. I love par­ty­ing and he en­joys spir­i­tual re­treats.” She says she fi­nally has that mar­i­tal glow.

“The sep­a­ra­tion of 14 years was nec­es­sary and like a good fine wine, we are much bet­ter to­gether,” she says.

They spent their Honey­moon in In­done­sia, Bali Kuta.

Nat and Virginia Mohlat­lole’s first wed­ding in 1998.

Nat and Virginia and their brides­maids and grooms­men.

Nat and Virginia Mohlat­lole re­marry years later af­ter sep­a­rat­ing.

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