Marriage takes two to make it work
Nokuthula Sonile
What is the secret to a long marriage? Whatever is it that makes a few people go on to stay together “till death do us part”? In a dramatic start to a marriage apparently doomed Evelyn Lozada, a TV reality star, told TV show hosts and magazines’s her husband – NLF player Chad – did not sleep at home the second day after their wedding.
As shocking as that is, reality TV star Kim Kardashian-West’s former marriage to NBA star Kris Humphries lasted a mere 72 days. Mrs West has, of course, been through three marriages, all in search of love and whatever else she is looking for. But her one-minute marriages may be seen as just attention seeking and a business partnership.
Currently, former Proteas captain Graeme Smith is divorcing his wife, an Irish singer, Morgan Deane, after just three years of marriage. The sad part is they have two kids under the age of three who will be affected by the whole divorce debacle.
Children are strong and survive their parents’ separation, but it is not something they should be exposed to, but life happens. According to a blog by divorce attorney Bertus Preller: “In 2012, 12 083 of the 21 998 divorces in South Africa involved children under 18 years (and) 19 713 children were affected by divorce during that period.”
I sometimes wonder how many people divorce and later realise they could have made an effort to make their marriages work. What happens then? Yes, not all relationships are meant to work, but maybe because when a guy flashes an engagement ring in front of his girlfriend, all concerns about the relationship fly out the window. I admire people who have long engagements, it gives one time to reflect and really make sure they are ready for marriage.
To those who are believing and making their marriages work for longer, the best marriage advice I’ve heard is you must treat each day with care. Think before you say something and try to walk in your spouse’s shoes every now and then. It is hard to keep a marriage going, but when two people are intent on making it through tough times, the fruits are often sweet and rewarding.