Maybe the FBI must guard us against Piers

If Piers Morgan was South African, he’d easily feature on the front page (or on the letters page) of one of our eight daily newspapers in Gauteng at least once a week. He’d definitely give Gareth Cliff and Juju a run for their money.

If it’s not Arsene Wenger who has to be sacked, then it’s the English one-day captain Eoin Morgan who has to zip his lips after shutting the door on Piers’ beloved Kevin Pietersen.

But without the former Britain’s Got Talent judge who has 4.6 million followers, Twitter would be a rather dull place.

Back in the news last week, Piers – who currently works as the US editor-at-large for Mail Online – and who has always championed controversial cricket star KP’s cause, was at his ranting and raving best.

This time gunning for Eoin, who declared that Pietersen won’t feature in the line-up for next month’s World T20 despite a rich vein of form in our Ram Slam and the Big Bash League (BBL). Not to mention the wealth of experience their T20 set-up so desperately craves.

The Pietermaritzburg-born Pietersen has since renewed his contract with the Melbourne Stars after becoming the first batsman to score 290 runs or more in two separate BBL seasons. This, after his knock of 79 off just 39 balls in the final last month, much like AB a few days ago. Kevin also believes that his latest BBL stint has delivered the best form of his career.

But as much as he keeps knocking, so the door is slammed in the 35-year-old’s face.

What enraged Piers even more was Eoin’s choice of words … “that door is completely shut. Kevin will not be picked”.

So while Piers’ Gunners were uhming and aahing against Championship leaders Hull City during their fi fth round FA Cup clash last weekend, Eoin was stirring the pot right here in our backyard at the Wanderers.

The skipper made no effort to sing along during God Save the Queen at the start of the second T20 on Sunday.

The South African connections also kept coming. Piers went on to praise former Blue Bulls flanker CJ Stander who belted out his adopted country’s anthem when he made his debut for Ireland against Wales in their Six Nations clash earlier this month. If CJ could do it, so could Eoin.

With some suggesting he might not sing it because he’s Irish, Piers snapped: “So am I. But you agree to captain England, you sing the damn anthem.”

Piers also blamed him for running the in-form Alex Hales out. The captain had cited crowd noise as the reason, saying he didn’t hear the call as the two batsmen mulled over a second possible run.

“Captain Morgan just selfishly shut the door on Alex Hales. Suicidal cricket #SAvENG,” read the tweet just past four.

Eoin of course, isn’t the only poor soul to have felt the wrath. English Test captain Alastair Cook, Americans who have a deadly relationship with the gun, and Apple CEO Tim Cook have all paid the dogbox a visit (Cook and the Yanks rather frequently).

In his latest column, he takes a swipe at the technology giant which Morgan claims is too damn cool to help the FBI hack terrorists’ phones, placing our freedom and safety at risk. Poor old Wenger is without a doubt next.

But like Piers says in his Twitter profile summary: “One day you’re the cock of the walk, the next a feather duster.”