Mini magic
André de Kock
We should start at the beginning. There is nothing mini about the MINI any more. It is as big as any other hatchback on the market - especially the Clubman variant, which has drifted light-years away from the original Mini concept. BMW call the latest Clubman version a “dynamically stretched silhouette with a clearly matured character”.
Which is marketing-speak for saying that it is 27cm longer, and 9cm wider than its predecessor. It also weighs in at a plump 1 960kg. That having been said, once one has dealt with preconceptions, it is a really competent, enjoyable vehicle.
The test car was a MINI Cooper S Clubman Automatic. That means it is powered by MINI’s extremely competent four- cylinder, turbocharged 1 998cc engine, which delivers 141kW of power at 5 000rpm, and 280Nm of torque at 1 250rpm. The powerplant is hooked up to the front wheels via an eight-speed Steptronic automatic transmission.
Inside, the car boasts everything that can click or bang, with the rev- counter, speedometer and cruise control buttons on the steering wheel, a circular central instrument with LED lighting ring in the cockpit facia, full infotainment, phone and navigation functions, an electric parking brake, comfortable electrically-adjustable bucket seats and two-zone automatic air conditioning.
There is also an electrically operated panorama glass roof, interior and exterior mirrors with automatic dip function, park assist rear view camera, plus a rain sensor with automatic driving lights control.
Finally, and very funky, lights in the exterior mirrors project the MINI logo on the ground when one unlocks the car. The whole package sits on 17- inch alloy wheels, housed in 225/45 R17 rubber.
It was with a bit of trepidation that we started the Clubman for the first time. The last MINI Cooper S we tested was a seriously mean John Cooper Works example – basically a race car with number plates. It was bumpy, noisy, harsh, direct, extremely quick and utterly delightful for about an hour. After that it gave me a headache, due to the extreme concentration it demanded, the huge number of gear changes it needed, its alarming tendency to react like a racing kart to the slightest steering inputs, and the fiercely efficient brakes, which threatened to rip one’s head off on application.
The new Clubman did none of the above. It was smooth, with linear acceleration, and the eightspeed transmission so unobtrusive that it is virtually impossible to tell when it swapped cogs. Trundling around town with the air- conditioner and radio on was no punishment, even in Johannesburg’s perpetual afternoon traffic jam.
Then came the cherry on top – we had to visit the Free State Phakisa Raceway near Odendaalsrus, the hub of the known universe. This was simple – we set the cruise control on 126 km/ h, found a radio station with good music and relaxed. The car buzzed all the way to the Free State and back in comfort, using an average of 9.7 litres per 100km.
A good all-round package then, though the asking price of R434 500 seems rather high. But then, there is nothing mini about this car.