Respect, not muscle, counts

Idon’t think the lovely Snapdragon is alone in her refusal to call me an adult. And I’m fine with her telling the world about my aversion to adulthood. As John Mellencamp said: Growing up leads to growing old and then to dying. And dying to me don’t sound like all that much fun.

But every now and then even I have to man up and pretend to be mature. Such a challeging situation surfaced this past week.

To understand the story, you have to know something about my delightfully disfunctional family: it is ruled by women. They are in the majority. Snapdragon, little Egg, the cat, the dog … all female.

It is only Snapdragon’s son and I who are members of the smelly gender, and therefore terribly outnumbered.

One evening we were sitting at the dinner table when the discussion turned to a subject that is extremely relevant in this month: gender-based violence.

I explained to the boy – a preteen who is quite often clobbered by the puberty stick which occasionally leads to loud outbursts – that we have a responsibility towards women in our roles as a gentleman (me) and a gentlemanlet (him).

“And that responsibility includes language, tone, volume and the choice of words,” I told him.

“Why do you listen so attentively when he speaks, but never when I do?” Snapdragon asked.

“It’s simple,” he said. “I’m much stronger than you are. But I have to listen to him – he’s got muscles.”

It took me the best part of the meal to explain to him that physical strength is no reason to respect someone’s words or ideas; that women bring many, many other strengths to the table and that disrespect for women says more about your own character than it says about women.

My words had him thinking. I noticed it, because thinking people are not all that common in the circles in which I operate.

It also had me thinking – which is just as rare, according to the Snapdragon.

And as a result of those thoughts, I have to tip my cap today to Snapdragon, little Egg, my mother, my mom-in-law and all the other women in my life.

Ladies, as part of women’s month, let me assure you I have never appreciated you more than in August 2018. I may be of the weaker sex, but my respect for you is stronger than my muscles.