Next time I do my picks I will eschew alcohol

Dear players of Superbru

The missus and I decided to get away from the Big Smoke last weekend and joined family and friends for a long weekend at Marloth Park on the border of the Kruger National Park.

I enjoy wildlife and the bush but most of all the weekend was about getting away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, forgetting about work and just vegetating for a couple of days.

Having absolutely no responsibility over the weekend, it was obvious I was not going to worry about imbibing in too much alco- hol. I belong to a Superbru group that plays the English Premier League every week and late on Friday, after a good few adult beverages, I was reminded by my mate and brother-in-law that I had not yet made my selections for the weekend’s matches.

They are both ardent Manchester United fans and I like nothing better than to rib them about their team. In fact, on our way to the Park over the weekend, we got stuck behind one of those huge trucks with an “abnormal load” sign on the back. “Look guys,” I said, “the Manchester United team bus.”

Needless to say, this didn’t go

Guy Hawthorne

down too well with the pair of them, but they were to get their own back, big time, later in the weekend.

I vaguely remember doing my picks on the Friday and even telling them I was going for United to beat Everton, on a three-match winning streak, at Old Trafford. I even told them my score – 2-1 – and duly submitted my selections. I figured home-ground advantage would just give United the edge in what I felt would be a close game.

My brother-in-law decided on Sunday morning to check our progress to that stage and logged on to Superbru. He stared at the screen of his smartphone for about a minute before collapsing in fits of laughter.

“I know you don’t like United and would like to see them lose every weekend,” he said to me, “but a 10-1 win for Everton at Old Trafford is a bit of a ridiculous pick!”

I bent over to check out his phone and there it was ... somehow I had selected the Toffees to not only beat United at Old Trafford, but hammer them with what would have been a record score at the famous ground.

I remain rooted near the foot of our group on Superbru and will surely finish there with a few repeats of last weekend’s disaster.

I honestly don’t know how it happened because I believed United would win 2-1, which they did. It must have been finger trouble but it taught me a valuable lesson. Never, ever do your Superbru picks after too many brandies and ginger ale. You need to have your wits about you to avoid being seriously embarrassed!