Wanted: Australians with a bit of mongrel

Make no mistake, the recent one-day series win over Australia was just bloody great, mate ... but yet it feels kinda empty.

Of course the 2-1 scoreline flatters the Aussies in a big way, as the Proteas won the first and third matches at a canter and should have easily put them to bed during the second game but fell just short of the line. But there is still something missing.

Ever since Allan Donald bowled THAT first ball of the Proteas’ first-ever World Cup match in Australia, the battle lines between South Africa and Australia have been drawn Down Under. Geoff Marsh’s gigantic nick taken by Dave Richardson behind the stumps and umpire Brian Aldridge’s refusal to raise his finger certainly had my blood boiling during that epic encounter way back in 1992 in Sydney and set the tone for every match or series that followed over there, regardless of it being Test or pyjama cricket. And although the Proteas have had more downs than ups there over the years, just the thought of us tackling those gum-chewing, big-mouth plonkers is always enticing.

And yet one of the reasons we despise them so much – and say all those flattering things about them – is because we have always appreciated the quality they have brought to the table. Way back to the days of hard-ass captain Allan Border surrounded by battle-hardened characters like David Boon, Mark Taylor, the Waugh twins, Ian Healy, Shane Warne and Merv Hughes, we as fans have had huge respect for them even though we hated losing to them. They have always in a way set the standard for how hard the game should be played.

Throughout the years their personnel might have changed, but their philosophy never did. Border was followed by Taylor, who gave the baton to Steve Waugh, who passed it on to Ricky Ponting, who was succeeded by Michael Clarke. All hard men epitomising the typical Aussie in the mould of Vic Richardson during the infamous Bodyline series back in the 1930s, which adds a bit of colour to the miniseries portraying the controversial tactics of the England team.

After a day’s play, distressed England captain Douglas Jardine knocks on the door of the home team’s dressing-room and demands an apology in his stiff upper lip Pommie accent for overhearing one of the Aussies sledging his paceman Harold Larwood during the day’s play.

“Okay, which of you bastards called Larwood a bastard instead of this bastard,” Richardson announces to the team.

I would have expected the same from a Waugh, a Ponting and even a Clarke. But ever since Sandpapergate, the Aussies are trying their best to play things safe and the fresh-faced okes they employ nowadays are not helping their cause. Finchy, Chris Lynn, Travis Head, Alex Carey and D’Arcy Short? C’mon man, these poofters don’t look tough and surely don’t seem to play tough cricket.

It almost seems too easy to whip their butts nowadays and that doesn’t seem quite right. I never thought I’d say this, but please bring back Steve Smith and David Warner. It will feel a whole lot better if we beat them when they get a bit of mongrel back.