You gotta love the Landie
RUGGED SOPHISTICATION: BUNDU BASHING OR PUTTERING AROUND NORTHERN SUBURBS
The Land Rover and Range Rover have come a long way since the early days.
One seldom associates Land Rover – the byword in offroad ruggedness – with romance. But, a few times in my past, there has been a Landie close by when amour was in the air.
During my spell as an army battle-camp instructor for a few months, I had a long wheelbase Series 2, petrol-engine Landie as my favoured method of transport.
With no doors, and no tailgate, you could say it was stripped for ease of use in the bush.
When we weren’t teaching soldiers fire and movement, camouflage and concealment or marksmanship, the Landie was our leisure vehicle.
And that’s where the romance (sort of) comes in.
One day, my mate Gary borrowed it to go off to the top of a beautiful hill on the farm boundary with his lovely girlfriend. I assume – from Gary’s sudden appearance, shirtless, from behind a rock after I shouted from below that they should get the hell out of there because a contact was taking placing just 10 clicks away – that they were doing what comes naturally to 20-year-olds…
All roads lead to love in a Landie?
It wasn’t quite love. I was returning from the closest town one cold winter evening, however.
I had been ordered to take the Landie and drop the sergeant off in town (60km from camp).
His mate, who was a train driver, was away and Sarge Joe – married though he was – jumped at the opportunity to jump his friend’s spouse. (And I am not arguing with you on the point that men can be dogs…)
On the way back to camp, I had an AK rifle, safety off, on my lap pointing out of the opening where the door would be.
There was no one around but bad guys along that road at night and the AK gave me some sort of comfort. I learned then that the headlights they are not “beeg” in the Series 2, so even if there was an ambush, I wouldn’t have seen them... It shows you how far Land Rover – and its sibling, Range Rover – have come since those days, though, when you consider that, a few months ago, my niece asked if I could arrange a Range Rover for her wedding. She and her hubby live in London and they’re yuppies, so they’re used to the best. Their wedding venue, just outside Joburg, was magnificent. And, a Range Rover would have complemented everything perfectly. Sadly, the Rangies in the Jaguar-Land Rover test fleet were all being used, so I was offered a Land Rover Discovery.
I was sure the couple would be disappointed … but they weren’t.
They know that today’s Discovery is as good as a full-fat Range Rover from only a few years ago. And it did not disappoint. I nipped out of the church while the registry signing was happening, whipped out a cloth and spruced up the wheels and tyres on one side (where the photographers were) and the Disco looked as much part of the furniture as would a limousine when Mr and Mrs Hunter left for the reception.
Big bonus was that, with the air suspension on this top-spec model, the short ride along dirt road to the venue, was as good as gliding on a magic carpet.
That wedding “expedition” proved that the Discovery is a true “all purpose” vehicle. You can take it to a five-star hotel and then go bundu bashing in it 10 minutes later.
The bigger Ranger Rover is equally adept at offroad driving, but would you want to dirty it?
Looking around the northern suburbs of Johannesburg it is difficult to tell which well-heeled families buy a Discovery for adventure or which as a pure status symbol … or which buy in on the basis of: if I am going to go off road, then I want the legend…
For a block-shaped (more appealing these days with the fastback rear aspect to it) piece of metal weighing close to three tons, the Disco is a nimble, but easy-to-drive companion, never once tempting me to use the appellation “beast”.
There’s a huge amount of space, a beefy V6 diesel engine which delivers serious get-up-and-go on tar and bags of torque when off it.
Plus, you just know it will go where you point it. In that, it’s a bit like the English rugby team: been around a long time, but has lots of tricks up its sleeve and should never be underestimated.
And, if you find yourself suddenly further down the winding road to amour than you’d expected, don’t stress. There’s plenty of room for baby seats …