This Bok team would be in realms of fantasy
SA Rugby announced this week that this coming Super Rugby season will see the local franchises teaming up with the Marvel Comics Universe, with each of them being assigned a kit based on one of the famous superheroes from the recently-passed Stan Lee’s wonderful imagination.
Goodness knows, our Super Rugby teams can certainly do with some superpowers, but unfortunately this arrangement will only be for the local derbies, so it won’t really help our chances of overcoming the dominance of the New Zealand teams or keeping ahead of the Australians.
The Bulls kit will have the blue colours of Captain America, the Lions will be based on Spider-Man’s red and black, the Sharks’ kit will be inspired by Black Panther and the Stormers will be wearing Thor’s colours. Ironically, rugby’s Thor – Duane Vermeulen – has moved from the Stormers to the Bulls, via Toulon.
This all got me thinking about what a Marvel 1st XV rugby side would look like … This is a game I love to play and another variant of it often occurs during the hot midday hours in a game reserve and I choose a rugby team based on the animals in the park. You know, rhino and hippo in the front row with the honey badger at hooker, elephant and giraffe as the lock pairing. Cheetah and springbok are on the wings, lion and leopard in the loose trio, along with hyena as the openside flank and monkey at scrumhalf. Buffalo would have quite the physical presence at inside centre, but does the elegant sable antelope play at flyhalf or fullback?
In our Marvel XV, Captain America, the archetypal blueeyed boy, would be an obvious choice as skipper and flyhalf, much like our own Naas Botha. But there is another option for captain – Black Panther, being the king of Wakanda, is a great leader in his own right and his agility, immense strength and great intelligence make him the ideal No 8.
Ken Borland
The Beast, not Tendai the Tremendous but the blue-furred simian/feline hero of both the X-Men and the Avengers, is another agile and super-strong contender for the loose trio and would be my openside. Who better to play blindside flank than the real Iron Man?
In the second row, it is a case of putting together the classic pairing of the physically imposing number four with a more mobile, beanpole No 5. Colossus of X-Men fame is not only 6ft 7in tall but can also transform his entire body into a type of organic steel. According to Marvel Comics, while in his armoured form, Colossus requires no food, water, or even oxygen to sustain himself, and is extremely resistant to injury. He is capable of withstanding great impacts, large-calibre bullets, falling from tremendous heights, electricity, and certain magical attacks. In other words he’s pretty much like Bakkies Botha.
His lock partner would be the brilliant scientist and leader of the Fantastic Four, Reed Richards, aka Mr Fantastic. He has the ability to stretch his body into any shape he chooses, so even the most wayward lineout throws would be in his grasp and his ability to steal ball at the rucks would be unsurpassed, which differentiates him from Victor Matfield.
A front row of his Fantastic Four colleague The Thing at tighthead and The Hulk at loosehead would be impossible to shift and would certainly boss the gainline, while Wolverine would bring a ferocity to the hooker position that has not been seen since the days of John Allan headbutting Sean Fitzpatrick in the first scrum of a Springboks/All Blacks Test.
For me, the sharp-witted Ant Man, with his ability to shrink through any gap or enlarge himself to block any hole, is the obvious choice for scrumhalf, while Quicksilver and the Falcon, whizzing about on his jet-powered wings, are the obvious heroes to play on the wings.
Thor, the god of thunder, would be a powerful force at inside centre that not many would get past, while Spiderman would be a nimble and superstrong outside centre, with his spider sense able to alert him of any threats to the defence.
Finally, I would like Daredevil at fullback, also imbued with super senses and tremendous agility, even though most modern coaches now seem to prefer a more conservative selection.
I’m sure the late, great Stan Lee will forgive me my misappropriation of his creations for a rugby team, but daydreams are what he sold and I have a feeling he would approve. I’m pretty sure the idea of putting them on rugby jerseys never crossed his mind though.