Cracking weekend of horseracing
TURBO-CHARGED: AN ADDICTION TO BUILDING ‘EXPENSIVE’ CARS AND MAKING THEM REAL FAST
To become a tuner you need a victim that comes on four wheels.
IEXPECTATION
wake up every day with a view from my bedroom window of rust buckets, with a side of fading paint and collateral damage. It’s a pretty sight if you like the taste of an empty leather wallet and oil on your fingers after eating something that’s “finger licking good”.
What I entertain myself with is something very few understand. I call it “the life of the tuner”. Not to be confused with buying expensive cars for speed, we build “expensive” cars and make them real fast.
It all started in 2001 when an old friend, Ashton Nassif, called me over so he could introduce me to “need for speed underground” – a console and computer game.
The game was based around the illegal street racing life, and could let the gamer customise cars by adding in components that could improve the cars’ performance and make them handle better.
I learned so much from that game, that I thought I knew it all, yet little did I know. I used to try to service the car with my dad and
I thought every component that got removed was a performance part. It was only after some time had passed that I realised that my father had no clue of the things that I spoke of, then I got curious.
I started asking and learning new things, in fact I remember asking Ashton what the heck a turbo is and all I remember is him saying “it sucks air and makes the car go whoosh”.
Today Ashton and I live in two different worlds, meaning he loves the “stance life” (working mainly on the looks of a car) while I prefer the g-force and speed.
To become a tuner you need a victim that comes on four wheels.
It could be anything – as long as it has the right motor along and has a good following among the “tuner” crowd ... which means parts would be easy to obtain.
I started my addiction after I purchased a Hyundai S-Coupe GT. It was my second car – dad
THE REALITY
handed over his beloved Ford Laser to me, but confiscated it when I started fiddling with it – but the first vehicle I actually worked towards buying for myself without mom and dad’s sweat and tears.
I remember saving up over a year on a salary of R3 000 at the time. Some of the money had to be split between my student loan, with me spending a small amount on myself and the rest waiting to be used on my pair of wheels.
I got the car for R13 000 from a seller who lied and claimed he was moving to Kenya. I was excited to bring the car home (I towed it back) to show the family. But instead of happy parents and a proud dad who has a son who got his own wheels, I got a rude reception from my mother who called a priest to come and pray for me for the grave sin of buying a rust bucket.
Despite the unhappiness in the family, I got to work on the car slowly over four years. This is where I learnt how expensive and time consuming it was to build your dream car through trial and error.
The dream was cut short when I was offered a Toyota Corolla Conquest RSI by my brother-in-law in exchange for my beloved Scoupe GT. Finally, I had a car that was boosted (turbo charged) and could be driven around.
The car made just over 140kW, which sounds like nothing until I pull up to the traffic lights prepared to smoke away a Golf GTI.
Soon after I also had a 2003 Audi S4 added to the roster, and a 2008 BMW 320i to top up the list.
Owning project cars is costly, so not only am I constantly scavenging every penny I have to add-on a performance part, but it can have a strain on a relationship too.
I’ve got a friend who is single because his lady couldn’t handle being second best to “metal on rubber”. In my case, though, I have a woman who is supporting my lifestyle, and in a way, she likes the tuner life as well.
It’s an addiction that I can’t shake off.