Brace for another exodus

We all know that truth is stranger than fiction. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why fake news has become such a phenomenon: no matter how crazy, it could always be the truth.

That, and of course the fact that spreading it has never been easier, thanks to social media.

In these crazy times of lockdowns, prohibition, state capture, Zol Zuma-rules and other highly unbelievable truths, I came across a piece of fascinating real news the other day: while Johannesburg is, quite unsurprisingly, on the list of cities travellers should avoid, Erbil in Iraq is considered the fifth-safest city in the world.

Yes, I am referring to Johannesburg in Gauteng, that former city now mostly slum in which Luthuli House is situated.

And yes, Erbil is in Iraq, in the autonomous region of Kurdistan.

As everybody on social media says nowadays, let that sink in.

I remember back in the day when every Tom, Dick and constable from South Africa went off to work as security guards in Iraq.

Everybody knew someone whose brother or husband or cousin shipped off to Iraq.

It was said that South Africans were a highly prized security asset in the desert due to their grit, courage and work ethic.

There were so many of our fellow countrymen there, I reckon Afrikaans could easily have become an official language.

All those men every month sent stacks of money to their families, who spent it on fancy cars, home renovations, private schooling and – lo and behold – security systems for their properties.

With the Iraq mission now complete and all our security expats – and experts – back home, Iraqis are now safe as houses.

Meanwhile, back home, we are more like a bunch of lunatics running around in a lightning storm wearing tin foil suits while murder and mayhem reign supreme.

I don’t want to be a trafficker of fake news or silly ideas, but it did occur to me that we might see a different kind of exodus soon: South African families moving to the Middle East – for safety reasons.

Wouldn’t that be a piece of news?