Failed? It’s not the end of the world

Following the release of the long-awaited matric results on Monday by Basic Education Minister Angie Motshekga, many matriculants will be celebrating the biggest achievement of their lives so far – but some could feel lonely and isolated if they failed or didn’t do as well as they hoped.

According to the World Health Organisation, almost one in 10 teen deaths in South Africa are suicides. It is the third-leading cause of death in 15 to 19-yearolds across the world.

Educational psychologist Dayne Williams said every year, there was the possibility that matriculants might fail, lose hope, think their future is ruined and consider taking their own lives.

“Failing matric represents a significant disappointment and can be challenging to deal with,” said Williams.

“Many matrics would have had dreams of finding employment, furthering their studies or helping their families financially.

“There is no quick fix and like any great disappointment or loss, one needs to move through the stages [denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance] before you can truly come to terms with what has happened.

“Even in our worst-case scenario, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes you just need someone to steer you toward that light.

Education experts are urging parents to speak openly with their children about their feelings and their psychological space if, especially now that Grade 12 results have been released, anxiety levels have reached boiling point. People can also turn to helplines for comfort.

“The first thing to remember is that in these situations, shaming or ridiculing matrics who did not pass is never helpful and will only serve to increase anxiety levels further. It is a challenging time for the whole family but what is needed is patience, support and unconditional love.

“Rather than dwell on what did not materialise, this is the time to assist your child find out the relevant information on rewrites, and ensure that all admin associated with these opportunities are correctly followed.

“Emotionally this is going to be a challenging time and, as parents, we all too often just want to fix the problem and take the pain away from our children,” Williams added.

The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) said, if you are feeling suicidal:

Make sure you are not alone; Ask family and friends to lock knives, ropes, pills and guns away; Don’t use alcohol or drugs; and

Tell someone immediately, or call the Sadag suicide crisis helpline on 0800-567-567, or the 24-hour toll-free hotline on 08000-55-555