Round 27 of bout promises another fat yawn

Upcoming elections are as exciting as Mike Tyson’s ring return, writes Des du Triou.

The upcoming Mike Tyson ring return promises a toe-to-toe fat yawn, like our elections, the ANC vs the DA. Round number 27, the ANC sluggish out their corner, overeasy street living. Lethargic habits, no delivery aspirations.

But the DA are no better, confused, do a rope-a-dope forward and backstep. Myopia reins. Into action, the ANC throw an overhead uppercut, punch themselves in the face. Suicidal infighting.

Taking full advantage, the DA pull their shorts up under their armpits, cry low blow foul.

The IEC ref penalises them points for sissy tactics. Issues them a written verbal warning. The DA threatens court action. The ANC move to dismiss. The DA wilts under a litany of irate protester boos. The ANC try to throw in the DA towel, but someone’s stolen it.

Angry voters throw in a barrage of insults. Ref declares the ANC winners on a split decision.

Disillusioned DA voters troop home, maybe next time.