Thinking yourself better

Isn’t it just incredible to see normal people’s ability to bounce back from setbacks? Two years ago, we were still in hard lockdown. Now, despite being in the middle of a fifth Covid wave, we hardly acknowledge that dastardly coronavirus which has killed more than 100 000 of our loved ones.

I am just recovering from a bout of Covid – the second one in six months – but this time I have taken it in my stride.

Yes, I was ill. Badly so. I’m ashamed to say I coughed so much that I sprained a muscle between my ribs – not the most manly of injuries, but extremely painful nonetheless.

“You’re becoming a grumpy, whiny old man,” the lovely Snapdragon, my present wife, told me last weekend. She’s not big on compassion. The day when human sympathy was dished out, she was probably locked up in her room reading chick lit.

“Hmm, you’re right,” I agreed. “And you’re a cruel and uncaring wife.”

This was our first loving exchange of words in a few weeks – we’ve had far too many arguments over the past month or two, as difficult, abrasive people tend to do.

“Then let’s solve it. If you stop complaining, you might just find that things improve,” Snapdragon said.

“Okay,” I replied. “Not a complaint from me for the next two weeks. But if things don’t improve, I’ll be forced to get a little flat above a cafe somewhere and just die of my Covid injuries.”

“Sounds tempting, but unfortunately I’ve got marriage wows to keep,” that heartless woman said.

For the past three days, I haven’t complained once, and lo and behold, my last Covid symptoms disappeared.

No, Snapdragon hasn’t miraculously developed compassion but last night when we lay in bed, she stroked my head and said: “You may look like a grumpy old geezer, but you’re really nothing more than a big old silly baby. But I’m glad you didn’t die in a flat on top of a cafe.”

“Hmmm,” I said. Which is code for: “Yes, I love you too, you mean old woman. I’m glad I married you.”

This morning, I had a smile on my face when I got out of bed. My ribs weren’t even sore anymore. As I said, human beings just have a way to bounce back.