Get to see the world in black, white

‘Saturday night six of us will jump onto the back of a bakkie and jump blacks.”

His legs swing as he’s telling us about their national sport in Klerksdorp decades ago.

I’m on a course on how to handle disciplinary hearings and can’t handle my instructor. Did I hear right, I ask my next-on-course-goer, wide-eyed? I did.

So I quietly tell HR about my “concerns” during our break, unaware some brave soul walked out after That Comment.

The two of us got a quiet “apology” no one else was aware of. Because no one else said a word.

And he’s still an instructor… I don’t want to piss on his parade – apart from my thin little stream without foam.

But I do want to win the pissing contest with the best foam with Miss-Gimme-What-You-Got looking for a new PR “but uuummmmmmm .... Black Lives Matter support? REALLY?” when she sees a taste of what she can get.

“Just a hint: I’m in my mid 60s and WHITE. So sending ‘pro-black’ propaganda may not be the best of choices to potential clients that fit my genre...

“It’s like sending pro-Hitler messages to people in a Jewish area. Consider your audience! Yikes!”

Yikes, consider an audience with the pope, Ms Greyling, Theron or Du Twa to learn a humble lesson in loving thy neighbour.

Take off your Google glasses letting you see the world in colour and get used to our world: black and white. Stark contrast, but it makes for beautiful ebony and ivory music.

So I won’t win the pissing contest: you won just by showing your racist heart on your sleeve, knowing if I attack I’m rubbished with future clients. You have me – excuse the pun – by the short and curlies you so hate.

But what if I out you?

What if I do a Penny Sparrow and report your monkeying around? What if I call you the r-word 48 times à la Vicki Momberg-style?

Because you prove Afrikaners’ intolerance; hatred of blacks.

You, yet again, won’t allow me to acknowledge my heritage with my head held high. You, like Theuns du Twat, piss on me, my people, and what we stand for.

You all need to be exposed – but… My biggest fear is losing a child. My second biggest? I’m just a pink liberal.