Boxing knowledge not required for this job

Become a boxing judge. Those big boxing tournaments are always held in Las Vegas so you can bet your bottom dollar the judges are very well paid.

I was never much good at anything with numbers at school. And when they began adding letters to the numbers (as in 5y X 6x = 456wxy), I really despaired. Letters I could manage, as in English, but as soon as they threw numbers in there I was stuffed.

But the thing about boxing judges – which is all about numbers – is it appears you really don’t have to know what you are doing to officiate at the highest level.

Take last weekend’s WBC heavyweight bout between champion Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury.

As heavyweight fights go, it was one of the better ones I’ve watched. For big men, both boxers moved well and there was plenty of action. And Wilder twice knocked Fury down. I sat there reflecting on what was an enjoyable bout when my happiness was rudely interrupted by the reading out of the judges’ scorecards.

One judge scored the bout 115111 to Wilder, the second scored @GuyHawthorne it 114-110 to Fury and the third scored it 113-113 for a split decision draw.

I was gobsmacked. I mean, how can three people sitting at ringside watching the same fight come up with three such different scores?

My missus argued it was probably about angles. “Angles?” I hissed. “What bloody angles?”

“Well the judges are sitting along three different sides of the ring, so they are all going to be seeing the fight a little differently.”

“A LITTLE differently, yes,” I replied. “But not so differently that you would think they were scoring three different fights.”

Unfortunately, the outcome made me again think of the “f” word.

A number of high-profile fights have been fixed over the years and I realised this was one calling out to be tampered with.

Last weekend’s fight attracted a lot of interest, so the organisers You’d think winning four European golf titles would make you a household name in your backyard.

But not so for South Africa’s George Coetzee in the first round of the SA Open on the Bushwillow layout at Randpark Golf Club on Thursday.

The double Tshwane Open winner made four birdies, but two bogeys and a double bogey as he signed for a frustrating even-par 71 on day one.

What would have been equally frustrating was seeing his name spelt incorrectly on the leaderboard carried around with each threeball. His name was butchered, and a board featuring “CEOTRZEE” followed him, five-time SA Open champion, and four-time Major winner Ernie Els, and Justin Walters around the par-71 yesterday.

At least Els was a bit easier to get right. – Sports staff must have realised just what a rematch would do. Even if they didn’t have a hand in it, I bet they were rubbing their hands in glee at the outcome.

So, for those of you looking for a career, a boxing judge wouldn’t be a bad call.

I can just imagine the job interview.

“Do you know anything about boxing?” “No.” “Do you have any interest in boxing?” “No.” “Can you count to 10?” “Yes.” “You’re hired.”