Keep your paws off my wallet

It was more difficult than ever to share a home with the lovely Snapdragon this week. Her wallet was stolen from her shopping basket in a supermarket on Monday and she’s on the warpath.

What makes matters worse, is that this is her second purse theft in less than five months – in September her (previous) wallet was stolen at a tea garden.

Then all fingers pointed to the waitress who served them, but the owners of the establishment refused to get involved. Which is not much different from her ordeal on Monday.

The thieves – a man and a woman – struck exactly when the security guard monitoring the camera left the control room, which seems suspiciously convenient for the long-fingered couple.

“I saw them,” the security guard at the door told Snapdragon when she kicked up a din.

“It was a woman in a white blouse. She took the pink wallet from a folded newspaper in which she hid it when they left the store,” he told Snapdragon.

“And what did you do?” she asked.

“Uhm…” he said. Nobody in the supermarket wanted to assist, apart from Colbert, the fresh produce manager. He couldn’t do much but thanks to his helpfulness, we may even consider shopping at that supermarket again.

Obviously, we’re upset about the loss of the cash and bank cards, but her ID and the three-year-old Egg’s birth certificate were also in the wallet. Which means Snapdragon will have to face our obese state machinery and convince them to get their snouts out of the trough long enough to replace these vital documents.

With this in mind, dear reader, you will forgive me if I tell you I had an uneasy feeling of déjà vu when I listened to Tito’s budget speech on Wednesday.

Admittedly, our finance minister had very little leeway for manoeuvring, but he did well. I was impressed with the way he balanced on a frighteningly thin tightrope… he’s our Colbert. But our Colbert can’t repair the hobbling economy on his own.

It’s for that very reason that I’m not impressed to know that the SAA, the SABC, Eskom and our overstaffed civil service will have their grubby little paws in our pink wallets for a long time to come.