Back to class – for art’s sake

Well, I did it. I applied to go back to college. Back? Hardly, since I never exactly went in the first place. Yes, there was a brief stint at Wits after a year of “saving up” as a waitress-receptionist-layabout-nightclubber, but that ended early due to pregnancy.

For me it was the School of Life, the Institute of Hard Knocks, and finally the Academy of Good Fortune, where I graduated top of the class. Oh, and I also managed a couple of months at nursing college, because it was free and I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life.

Now finally, 30 years later, I do. I want to do art.

In truth, I always wanted to do art but never had the chance, because my chosen high school subjects – art and German – weren’t offered together, so I was unwittingly registered for accountancy and German instead.

Sprechen sie Deutsch? Me neither.

To add middle-class insult to first-world injury, I was then promised I could attend art lessons privately… when my maths marks improved.

They never did. Trigonometry and I never made friends.

Nonetheless, as an independent adult finally free of my Dickensian childhood in suburban Benoni, I have pottered about with art more and more. I did a short drawing course, then joined a painting group of dear old ladies dabbling in their dotage.

Fun times.

However, becoming a hobbyist, painting river scenes and fruit bowls was somehow mortifying – me and all the pensioners being impressed by our “nice” pictures.

Yes, I’m a terrible snob, but I wanted more, so I took some night school classes. Then, most recently, I attended my first tertiary “certificate” course at a proper art college.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt as satisfied as when I wrote my academic essay on artist William Kentridge’s More Sweetly Play the Dance – since you asked – and put together my final submission.

I got an A.

Inspired, I’ve now prepared my portfolio – 29 pages! – and have officially applied to do a Higher Diploma in Art. And just in time for the opening of all the factories, they’re surely building for art graduates the moment the lockdown ends…

Wish me luck.