Surreal tripping in a SUV

VW TOUAREG: PUTTING FOOT AND YOU’RE SWIFTLY AWAY FROM JUGGERNAUTS INTO CLEAR AIR

With this car, you don’t feel like you’re handling a tank.

It should have been an opportunity to savour – after all, I am a Volkswagen group fan and find their SUVs to be some of the best in the business. So why was I so nervous when the new VW Touareg “Black Edition” rolled up in my driveway?

Perhaps part of the less-thanwow attitude was because VWSA, like a number of other car makers, has – because of the Covid-19 crisis – decided to cut the time for a car test to four days, when previously it was a week. Quite what this is intended to achieve in terms of real saving to the company is beyond me, but then I am not a bean counter.

My first trip was to the office – a journey I have made twice in the previous three or so months of the lockdown – and it was my first time behind the wheel of a test car since mid-March. My colleagues on Saturday Citizen (amateur car testers, it must be said) have had sundry BMWs and Minis since but we’re only really getting back into the swing of driving the new cars now.

And I was as nervous as I was taking my driving test all those years ago. This, after all, was a car with a price tag not far short of R1.2 million and belonged to someone else. I did not want to get into any trouble.

Not that I really should have worried, because the big VW SUV is equipped with all the latest safety gadgets, including lane departure warning systems, which flash on the dashboard … and blindspot alerts, which bring up an orange flashing light in your rear-view mirror to warn you someone coming up behind you.

Although I have been out an about a bit in my own 16-year-old Subaru Forester, the experience of piloting the Touareg to the office was, nevertheless, surreal.

I kept having to remind myself to check my mirrors (blindspots sorted, thanks VW) – which is something I do religiously as part of my defensive driving habits. Out of practice for that long, I was also slightly scared by the trucks.

Not that I should have had thoughts about that for long… putting my foot down and liberating the 190kW and 600Nm of torque took me swiftly away from the juggernauts and into clear air.

Funnily enough, even though I was forcing myself to get back into alert-mode as a driver, I found that, despite its size, the Touareg was reassuringly small, in terms of perceived size from behind the wheel. You’re always aware that there is some bulk to it, but you do not feel as though you’re handling a tank, as is the case with some other large SUVs.

Once I had taken by metaphorical psychological “chill pill”, I could sit back a bit and reacquaint myself with one of my favourite VW drivetrains.

The V6 turbodiesel (no, I don’t give damn about VW’s supposed cheating in emission tests) is the epitome of smoothness with readily accessible power. It does duty in a range of VW group products and I have driven it, in its various guises, in an Audi A8 limo, a Porsche Panamera sports saloon, VW Amarok double-cab bakkie as well as other Audis.

It’s my kind of motor – enough power to satisfy the speed freak within you, yet with incredible fuel economy at the same time. On my regular test route on the highways around Joburg, the Touareg covered the 140km at an average speed of 120km/h on the dot and yet delivered 6.7 litres per 100km.

Not many other vehicles on the road could manage that combination of speed and economy.

All the while, with its sophisticated air suspension, the Touareg offered a magic carpet-like ride (it gets a little bit stiffer in sports mode) and a silky smooth gear-changing experience, thanks to the eight-speed auto gearbox.

The Touareg is spacious, too, with a large boot and plenty of legroom for backseat passengers, which makes it a perfect long-distance tourer.

If only we had somewhere to go touring…