A really bad Van joke

The biggest mistake one can make is to underestimate people. I’m not referring to people collectively, like humankind. I’m talking about individuals – those who manage to crack the enemy’s codes in war time, who manage to unlock the secrets to flight, or who can remove a link from a DNA chain.

Top of the list are the ones who, week after week, manage to uncover the secrets and expose the lies of the illuminati, the G7, Nato and other power-mongering groups like the “Global Elite”.

Yip, the Global Elite, responsible for the coronavirus hoax, has just been fingered by none other than some Van der Merwe genius in Klerksdorp.

According to Van, the virus is a cover story to kill billions of people with 5G radiation in order to “reset humanity”. Part of Van’s proof is the fact that nobody in Singapore, Israel, Russia, China and Canada are dying from the alleged virus as 5G has been banned in those countries.

While our cellphones are apparently an integral part of this weapon, we are urged to use them to spread Van’s message warning us against the Global Elite.

Van’s message is spreading faster than, well, a virus during a pandemic.

The Global Elite, in case you are wondering, obviously bribed the big pharmaceuticals, bankers, political leaders and big media houses to go along with their plan – something we would never have known was it not for Van from Klerksdorp.

Of course, as with every conspiracy theory, the media plays a vital role in keeping the general populace either uninformed or misinformed.

Chosen members of the media communicate through a secret code. This code is embedded in various components of the daily paper and accessed is granted on a need-to-know basis.

The general communication, usually for politicians, is done through cartoons. We find they understand this best. Confidential communication is done through the business pages, while top secret messages are communicated through the cryptic crosswords.

I pinkie promise.