It’s about principles, old boy
Interesting e-mail I got from a guy who works at a Joburg ad agency. Let’s call him Nick. His company does “digital marketing” for Hilton College. Some of you may recognise the name. Seedy rundown school in the KZN Midlands. Fees for this year are R343 155.
One of Hilton’s old boys approached Nick about a piece I wrote in 2015, which lingers like a polyp in the bowels of my blog. I could see where this was going. An invitation to speak at a reunion. Tell the lads how I managed to reach the pinnacle of my career despite attending a mongrel of a government school in the gritty suburbs of Durban North. Try to get a couple of laughs, maybe a few free drinks.
“I have been requested to contact you,” said Nick, “and try and have the article removed or archived if possible.” What f***ery is this? I cried, downing my flaming sambuca and belching flames which singed the cat.
“It does unfortunately cast the College in a bad light...” he said, before going on to remind me of what I had written (feel free to google it).
Apparently confusing me with Winston Smith, who specialised in rewriting history for the Ministry of Truth, Nick went on: “Are you able take the article down, or at least archive it and de-index the page from being picked up by Google bots? I think a 7-year term of being online is sufficient time for any future students contemplating a similar stunt to seriously rethink things before being as impulsive as the students in the article.”
Nick’s first mistake was to presume that I have the power to deter schoolboys from doing the same stupid things. Perhaps it should be written into the sentencing laws. “Your deeds shall remain on Ben Trovato’s blog for seven full years.” That’ll bring down the recidivism rate.
His second mistake was to assume that I don’t have a problem with self-censorship.
I declined Nick’s request. Showing admirable restraint, I said: “Yeah, no, I don’t think so. I’m not a huge fan of erasing history. A bit too Orwellian for me. Slippery slope. Next thing, the German embassy is asking me to remove all my columns that reference the Nazis because they cast Germany in a bad light.”
Being in the advertising industry, Nick was undeterred. Instead of doing the sensible thing and thanking me for taking the time to craft a well-considered response, he doubled down.
Challenging my reference to George Orwell, he said, “I wouldn’t equate Hilton College with Germany, nor the kids with Nazi’s”. Errant apostrophes aside, I thought it would be obvious that I was using the Herrenvolk purely for illustrative purposes.
Then came a history lecture: “While some parts of Germany supported the Nazi’s and their movement during WWII, there was also a whole bunch that didn’t, whereas in this case I can assure you, that none of Hilton College Faculty, board of directors, parents and past students who were actually proud of their legacy supported those teenagers’ decision to execute the prank that day.”
Nick added: “Lastly, in reality, the kids made a mock orgy scene and posted it on Instagram 7 years ago. While the reasons they did that are just beyond me, it’s hardly a holocaust.”
Indeed. Just as nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, so too does nobody expect the holocaust. By the way, more mock rape than orgy, but let us not quibble.
Nick said the last thing he wanted was to “ask a man of principle to compromise his beliefs”. It took a while to realise he was talking about me. Them advertising folk sure are well trained in the dark art of psychology.
Then came the Faustian bargain. “How about if we reach a middle ground, like if you remove the references to Hilton – make the body about the kids and not the school.”
For a start, they’re not kids anymore. They’re either captains of industry or doing time in Westville Prison. Also, I’ve never been comfortable with the middle ground. That’s a sure way to get caught in the crossfire.
The beseeching continued: “The old boys have a deep connection to their past at Hilton … it just doesn’t seem fair that something that some people hold sacred and regard with pride be ruined by the actions of teenagers who clearly lacked good judgment and foresight, and to top it off had access to a smartphone during that moment of depravity”.
I feel like I’m missing something here. Are there really grown-ass men out there who care deeply about the reputation of their old school? I went to a whites-only school. It doesn’t get more depraved than that. I should have set fire to it the day I left.
In a final appeal to my good side, ha ha, Nick said: “I’m not asking you to re-align any of your views or principles, in fact, I enjoyed your books and your articles.” Did you, Nick? Then you’d know my first three books were comprised of letters people wrote to me.
I’m not a huge fan of erasing history