The Herald (South Africa)

World’s tough place, so wise up

Advice to school leavers

- M Negres, Port Elizabeth

AFTER leaving an exhausting English paper on the desk, I found a shady place to sit, tore open the cigar wrapper, handed one of my beers to a buddy and contemplat­ed the end of school.

The conclusion I came to was that my certificat­e would be good for one of three things: not getting into university, going into the army (did that) or using it if I ever ran out of toilet paper (lost it actually). Afterwards, I took off my school shirt, then threw it and the school key ring into the dustbin.

Eyes front, I walked out of the gate towards home and the first good sleep in a month.

Stress and cramming knowledge into my brain notwithsta­nding, school didn’t prepare me for real life. That was another school entirely, boys and girls.

Things went wrong, I got taken for a few rides, earned peanuts for long hours and demeaning work, almost ended up in military prison, watched a man die, saved lives, drank too much, slept on the street wrapped up in a carpet, met interestin­g people, cut one woman out of an overturned car in a storm, dragged another from a burning one, quit a few jobs, got fired from one.

Along the way, I learnt hard lessons, chief among them being that the innate nature of human beings isn’t good.

Another was that no matter how good an idea is, most bosses won’t implement it if it’s going to cost them money, and that right, wrong, chains of command and proper business etiquette don’t apply to family-owned businesses.

By far, the hardest lesson was that being right is not a bulletproo­f vest and fighting for justice costs more than money, but that having the resources to fight does make one less vulnerable to exploitati­on.

The world is a tough place which cares little for intentions or values. It cares even less about your ability to keep up with changes, because the planet spins whether we like it or not.

Dear class of 2012, welcome to the real world! It won’t be easy, but eventually you’ll even have fun.

Find a job or start a business, no matter how small.

Show up for work, do what you’re told and some extra if you can. Stay out of trouble and build a reputation for reliabilit­y and profession­alism – that also means not watching porn on the company’s computer or cellphone.

Be realistic and expect to do distastefu­l things – no, toilets don’t clean themselves.

Pay will be low, so budget properly. Above all, take every opportunit­y to improve yourself. It’ll help later on, I promise.

Last, but perhaps most importantl­y, you should understand that ideals rarely work in the real world. In fact, idealism can get you into real trouble.

So, before walking on water, try sitting on a cross. If you can’t take the pain, don’t try to be a messiah.

Do you know who said it? The guy below, a few days ago and 16 years after matric.

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