Kids say the funniest things

KIDS do say the funniest things, and visits to creches and schools in Nelson Mandela Bay yesterday proved just that.

All of the 10 children interviewed – aged between four and 11 – knew about load-shedding and made some very quirky remarks about President Jacob Zuma. Their views were varied about who the richest person in South Africa is, about taxes, about what makes a good husband, and on what to do if you get lost.

Load-shedding, said Hannah Strimling of Walmer, was “when the power comes off”.

Or, according to Emma Botha of Parsons Hill: “Load-shedding is when the lights go off and the stove doesn’t work.” Melissa Qamdame, from Algoa Park, said it was “when Eskom goes to the electricity box and turns off the power”.

When young Emma was asked what the president of South Africa does, her prompt response was quite simple: “Not a lot of things.”

Maria Pretorius, of Walmer, is not the only one who believes wholeheartedly the president is the richest man in South Africa, while Niellen de Bruin, of Uitenhage, is adamant it is his dad. Taxes, says Emma, is something you do with money.

Niellen is clearly a young man going places. He wants to be an explorer when he grows up, but admitted – in hushed tones – that if he got lost “I would use a compass, find a gas station and look for my parents”.

Uitenhage’s Shemantely Hansen’s opinion on getting lost was quite different, saying it was exactly why people held hands “so they don’t get lost”.

Nelson Mandela remains a firm favourite. “A man who believed in human rights and believed everybody could vote,” explained young Emma.

Zachary Pretorius, of Walmer, said Mandela was a president a very, very long time ago.

Holding hands, says Zachary, is what people do who love each other, and having brothers and sisters is in order to have someone to play with.

Then, when thrown a trick question designed to trip him up, Zachary was undoubtedly one step ahead. Why does it hurt when you cut yourself but not when you cut your hair? “Your hair doesn’t touch your body,” was his prompt reply. This guy had an answer for everything.

Francois van Tonder, of Humewood, is not quite sure what love is but knows what he wants to be when he grows up: a scientist. “Then I can make something to make me do anything,” said Francois. Perhaps make something to make you fall in love, Francois?

Like Francois, who thought his sister “weird”, Tenacity Ncube, of Korsten, might not know what love is, but insists people hold hands “to kiss”.

Tenacity wants to work in a salon one day. And so, armed with a brush and pair of scissors, will not need explorer Niellen’s compass if she gets lost because she will just “scream and scream”.

Ethan Dowding, of Despatch, who wants to be an architect one day, said he would call Childline if he got lost and that people hold hands because they love each other and want to be safe. When it comes to money, Ethan clearly believes the Springboks are South Africa’s most valuable asset.

Team captain Jean de Villiers is by far South Africa’s richest person, he says.

Asked what kind of man would make a good husband, Maria was adamant: “Nobody!”

‘ “I would use a compass, find a gas station and look for my parents