We should be listening to each other

Misunderstanding leading to violence

I AM a 71-year-old man.

On Sunday evening October 1 at about 8pm I reversed my vehicle out of a parking bay on the BP Five Ways forecourt into a vehicle that had parked behind me.

The collision was not serious, because the other vehicle was one or two metres behind me and I was reversing slowly.

I immediately jumped out of my vehicle to inspect the damage and make arrangements with the other driver (as one does in these situations).

Subconsciously I noticed that the other vehicle was a black Range Rover.

The driver of the other vehicle came around to where I was inspecting for possible damage to his vehicle.

He was understandably annoyed, but aggressive.

“Why did you bump into me, why did you not look behind you, why did you not use your mirrors to see what was behind you?”

I replied to the effect, “I’m sorry, it was an accident, I made a mistake. It is quite dark here and I did not see your car because it is black.”

“Are you saying that you hit me because I’m black.”

I was still looking down when he punched me in the face with tremendous force.

I have never experienced such force and believe that I was knocked out for a moment as I had a dull feeling of flying through the air and landing on the forecourt next to my vehicle, nose first.

As I lay on the ground he continued to hit me. I thought he was going to kill me. I crawled into the shop, seeking protection. Fortunately he did not follow me into the shop.

I estimated him to be in his 40s, a portly, extremely strong man.

When I recovered sufficiently to walk outside he grabbed my car keys from me. Fortunately two Atlas guards arrived, having responded to the shop’s panic button.

They defused the situation and told him to give my keys back.

He had in the meantime been telling staff and patrons on the forecourt that he was a doctor and that I had hit him because he was black. I repeatedly told him that I had said his car was black, not that he was black.

A lot of things happen around one in these situations.

There was talk of alcohol being smelt and the Atlas men mentioned that there were CCTV cameras.

This may have brought the assailant to his senses and he made a proposal that “if you do not charge me for assault I will not claim from you for damages to my car”. I agreed to his proposal. Strangely enough we shook hands and hugged in the African way before leaving the scene.

The incident has troubled me greatly. Fortunately I am fit and have been able to deal with the physical pain, but the mental pain lingers.

My main issue is the level of hatred I felt, and how anyone can strike an elderly person with such force that it could easily kill him.

I sought counselling from a psychologist, who advised that alcohol probably affected reasoning and that the attack would have happened whether I was 90 or 70 years old.

The psychologist also considered the incident a giant South African misunderstanding between the wording “I hit your car because your car is black” and “I hit you because you are black”.

Perhaps it happened because we do not listen to each other and need to learn to do so, whatever our skin colour, rather than act on historical assumptions.

In spite of all the tensions and wrongs in our country I believe that the majority of people are good people, good South Africans, who get on well together in their daily interactions on the ground.

I invite the man whose car I accidently collided with to meet me for coffee and breakfast.

Perhaps we can discuss the incident and help to create a positive example for our fellow countrymen.

Please contact me via the editor of The Herald to make arrangements