Speaking out to say ‘Me too’ about abuse at Bay varsity
NELSON Mandela University professor, researcher and previous head of department, you know who you are and those who decided to stand by, knowing full well what had transpired, you bunch also know who you are. It was not easy coming forward. I tried to deal with my awful encounter and life-changing experience with you, Professor, through the so-called correct channels.
However, the university and the dean of faculty chose to believe their esteemed colleague, you Professor, because of your academic and research credentials.
After all, you Professor, were then and are still now an “asset” to the university.
I was just a non-academic employee, coming through a traumatic home invasion and you smelt blood in the water.
No easier target than one who is dealing with a traumatic experience.
The NMU, in my opinion, is still a patriarchal world, and I doubt it will change until these monsters with credentials and power are named and shamed.
I resigned from the university and, sadly, I had to leave behind the students and excellent staff members I loved and valued so dearly.
Even my resignation did not strengthen my case.
In fact, I gave them exactly what they hoped for: absence of a daily reminder.
What I value most, though, is that I had the courage to speak up and I spoke words of truth.
Yes, it was very difficult to be unemployed, but in a reasonable space of time I found new and enjoyable employment.
If you are reading this, Professor, my life has gone on, and I now work with incredible colleagues in the private sector who have a strong moral and ethical compass.
However, you, Professor, will have to live the lie until your conscience directs you to apologise to me.
I was ready to forgive, I just needed you to acknowledge what you had done was so wrong.
For reasons I cannot fathom, South African society continues to believe the men with wandering hands and often these hands are the hands of those we most trust.
Professor, you chose to be arrogant because you knew you were untouchable.
But, no person remains untouchable forever.
To speak out is the first step to closure, but be prepared, you will stand alone in most cases.
However, should you decide to speak out and say, “Me too”, the psychological rewards are great. Now I know I am a survivor. I am strong and I am worthy.
It’s #MeToo, Port Elizabeth