Every new year, we just want happiness

“Do you have any New Year resolutions?” she asked, being 13, and full of hope and promise.

“I don’t. The research shows that we won’t stick to them.

“They’re empty festive wrappings, crinkled and forlorn on the virtual floor of socalled life.”

The cynic in me failed to dim eternal optimism in her, as we drove towards the heaving, smiling mass of tourists who crowd our holiday village every year end, bringing credit cards and good cheer.

It’s just that, on January 1 across the world, millions of us make lofty promises to ourselves. We’ll get healthy, go to gym, drink less wine and eat more greens. In short, we plan to be perfect.

By February, most of our resolutions are gathering dust as we shake off the holidays and wrestle with the reality of work, friendship, parenthood and bills.

Why can’t we follow through?

Psychologists explain that, while people want fast results, we tend to procrastinate.

However, sustained effort is key to success; so, by wanting too much, and spreading ourselves too thin, we end up at the starting line, feeling defeated (and less inclined to begin all over again).

The secret, those canny researchers say, is to fashion long-term, reachable goals that contribute towards what everybody wants, in the end: happiness.

“Maybe I’ll give it a go,” I said, rounding the seething parking lot a second time, willing an open spot.

We discussed what I’d learned, through writing umpteen articles about it, over the years. And, funny thing is, the results are always the same; there’s no complexity to creating viable resolutions at any time of year.

In short, your attitude determines your altitude – the way you get there is more important than the goal.

It’s no use mentally committing to a 10km run three times a week if you’re going to think about it, rather than do it.

Instead, stop plotting and start doing: get up, put on your trainers and exit the front door. Less detail, more action.

But, conversely, I told her, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? That’s where resolutions and I became unstuck so often, owing to me not really feeling the urge to metamorphosise at midnight on the eve of a brand new year.

Perhaps – and this is perfectly okay – you’re feeling content with life “as is” and falling into the trap of confusing wants and needs is a typically modern ailment in our aspirational society.

Does it – or we – truly need to be bigger, better, faster, younger, wealthier or sassier?

Sometimes, besides world politics, things are lovely as they are, I told her. And that’s where gratitude comes in – being grateful for even the most insignificant bits of your life.

So – treat the new year as a chance to work out what makes you happy – and how to get there, or stay there.