Holiday season — a time of joy or pain?

Christmas holidays are meant to be a time of fun, food, friends and family.

The season is supposed to be a time of joy and peace with loved ones and friends.

Unfortunately, it has also become a time of great pain and loneliness for many in our communities.

It is said that the most depression, suicides and divorces occur just after December and January.

The carnage on our roads seems to be getting worse every year in spite of bigger and bigger budgets for the “Arrive Alive” campaigns across our country.

How is it possible that we as a society are becoming more and more destructive and selfdestructive in spite of all the technological and economical advances over the last few years?

What is at the core of all these problems?

In this article, I will try and identify some causes and suggest possible solutions to make this holiday season a safe and enjoyable one.

Reason No 1: Family problems

We have not seen such great dysfunction in families as we see today.

Absent or no fathers, rebellious and disobedient children, domestic abuse and violence, substance abuse, just to mention a few of the major challenges facing families today.

Even worse is that it seems as if the majority of families have absolutely no idea of how to solve these challenges.

The default solution is that they just continue arguing and fighting or avoiding each other and isolating themselves from the family.

Of course, the easy refuge is into the street, constantly out and around with friends or just hiding behind cell phones and big screens.

I think that the latter has been become most probably the favourite way of avoiding family.

Solution: Somebody in the family has to stand up and initiate a family meeting to address solutions.

First, get your family to do fun and enjoyable things together before addressing issues.

Normally families are not in an emotionally good space to speak about the challenges between them until they actually first play or socialise together.

If that does not work, get a third party in to help, for example, a respected and senior family member, normally an uncle or aunt or a spiritual leader.

Reason No 2: Finances

Money is always an emotional topic this time of the year and it needs to be addressed with wisdom.

Whether you have a little or a lot, you still need to plan and budget your money especially with bonuses coming up for some!

People fail to budget and therefore fall into the marketing traps of commercial and retail shops.

They spend lavishly on credit and luxury items and assume that the bonus will cover it.

My mother- in-law always taught my wife and I not to “count our chickens before they hatch”.

Before you know it, January is here and you have nothing to show for all the money you had in December.

January school fees, stationery and bills need to be paid but has already been spent.

This is when the really big fights and arguments start to happen.

Solution: Budget and plan for December and January well in advance.

Communicate this plan to all concerned on a need-toknow basis, that is, only say certain things to the children.

Make sure all your needs and fixed expenses are paid first. Set limits on spending when eating out or going out.

Reason No 3: Alcohol

Without a doubt, alcohol abuse has become the greatest cause of accidents, fights and even deaths during this period.

Ask any nurse or doctor who works in the emergency section of a hospital.

People spend huge sums of money on alcohol in December and usually have major regrets in January.

There are major chain stores that make more money selling alcohol than food in December.

Personally, I would encourage you not to indulge at all. Is it really worth the risk? Solution: Try an alcohol-free holiday! It’s definitely safer and cheaper!

If not possible, try cutting down your usage especially if you are going out.

If all else fails, ask a friend or spiritual leader for help.

Reason No 4: Spiritual decline

Christmas is still about the birth of Christ Jesus, the saviour of the world.

Slowly we have been commercially and socially seduced from celebrating the true reason for the season.

Secular humanism, selfishness and constant entertainment have slowly eroded the values that Christmas stands for.

Solution: Family is still God’s idea and following His rules still works.

There is a true saying: “The family that prays together, stays together!”

Spend quality time praying for your individual family members this holiday season.

Attend church together and know that the birth of Christ Jesus is more than just a Christmas story but a factual historic event where God sent His Son to lay down His life for the sins of the world.

May God bless and prosper all the families in our metro.

May you enjoy a safe and blessed Christmas this year and a prosperous New Year!